Friday, May 15, 2009

I Dream of Deli

I don't know about you guys, but I've been having some major a** kicking weeks at work ever since the weather has warmed up. People keep coming in droves like we're the only deli in the city. I'm soooooooo freakin' tired, I want to cry. Wahhhhhh!! Seriously, I almost fell asleep driving home from my mom's the other night. I had gone to have dinner with her after work & could barely keep my eyes open driving back to my place. When I finally did get in the door, I went straight to bed (screw showering, I thought to myself, it could wait until morning), and pretty much passed out the second my head hit the pillow.

Now, ideally, sleeping straight though to the next morning would have been awesome, but my mind just had to make its usual detour through dreamland where anything bizarre can, and usually does, happen to me. The good news is that that there were no bunnies in sight this time around. Whew! Not so good, however, was the fact that I... umm (if you guys don't already think I'm nuts, you're all going to think that I'm totally crazy now) ...was lying totally naked inside the deli counter that I so beautifully organized earlier that day. Yup, I had my head leaning up against a block of mock chicken & a variety of other meats were strategically placed on or around certain parts of my body. Go ahead and consult your imaginations for visuals, I'll wait.

********** Done? OK, good. Hope you enjoyed yourselves. **********

So, there I was... naked... and the deli was packed with people ordering cold cuts like they were going out of style. Every time one of the clerks would slide open the counter doors, I would hand them whatever meats they needed. At one point, Lucky (one of my co-workers) opened the doors to ask if I was cold. You'd think I'd be freezing my a** (among other things) off, but I actually told him that I was fine. So, he quietly slid the doors shut and went back to slicing meat as though what I was doing was totally normal. The customers & I weren't phased either. They just smiled & waved at me as they waited to be served, and I just smiled & waved back like it was all in a days work.

The dream went on like that for quite some time & all was well. Nobody cared that I was lying naked as a newborn inside the deli counter. Nope, nobody, including me. Well, at least until I did. All I can say is that I started feeling really uncomfortable, but I didn't know why. I looked around and nothing appeared to be wrong. Everyone was still smiling & happy as far as I could see, but I just kept feeling like something wasn't right. All of a sudden, my mind presented me with a vision & it wasn't pretty. What I saw was She-Man approaching the deli counter (cue scary Jaws music), and I knew I had to get the h*ll out of there before she/he showed up, stripped off her/his clothes, and jumped in with me. It was in that moment of total panic that I woke up, and thank God for that because I don't think that I could ever erase the sight of She-Man naked from my mind. No, that is one picture that I never ever want to have burned into my memory, thank you very much.

JB

39 comments:

  1. By the power of greyskull...oh wait, that's He-Man...LOL

    Oy, those dreams, no wonder you aren't sleeping.

    Peace -rene

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  2. You poor thing. Take care, dear jb, sound like terrible dreams.

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  3. I broke it down for you....

    Naked:
    To dream that you are naked, denotes the fear of being found out and exposed about your activities and misjudgment.

    Job:
    To dream about your current job, suggests that you need to work harder or be more effective at work. There may be something or some task that must be done at once.You may be overworked or preoccupied with work. You need to make time for leisure and relaxation.

    Naked & uncomfortable:

    To dream that you suddenly discover your nudity and are trying to cover up, signifies your vulnerability to a situation.


    Panic:
    To dream that you are in a panic, indicates a lack of control and power in your life. You may be feeling helpless in some situation or unable to make a clear decision.

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  4. I have dreams where I'm obliviously naked, too. Must be all those Dove "Real Women" ads that are lulling me into body acceptance.

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  5. I've been having plane crash dreams lately. Weird. Let's HOPE they don't mean anything.

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  6. what a dream!!! don't go doing it now, heee heee heee

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  7. Jb, what are you fearing will be exposed? What a dream that was, you poor thing. Too much work and not enough wine perhaps. Take Care and it would make a great film script though, lol

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  8. Keep on Writing, I feel you, my customers come to the pharmacy like we are the only drug store in town.....I feel you

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  9. I have really f*cked up dreams too - usually some completely bizarre situation, although in the dream it's business as usual. I'm liking your place of work more and more though. :o)

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  10. Wow, I had a dream about a naked woman too, but she wasn't in the Deli Counter...just kidding. Quite a humorous retelling of your dream, I think Stefanie's interpretations may be valid. All the best, LL.

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  11. I am guffawing out loud like a crazy person.

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  12. are you gonna hate at me, if i told you all I did was laugh at loud at this one?


    :D Lol!!

    Whattte dream! nothing can beat your subconscience !!

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  13. I just spent the last 8 hours of what should have deep and refreshing sleep dreaming about shoes. It was an 8 hour slideshow of shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Being a women's shoe salesman is going to kill me.

    So we are both feeling the stress of our jobs.

    - R

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  14. Hey Diva, thank you for the kind words you left at my site Living Loving and Laughing you are a class act! Also it was great seeing Anita's feature on your site, have a great evening. Check out http://www.samaritiandiva.com when you get a chance! blessings to you and yours! Christine

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  15. And the She-Man returns! xD
    Hun, since Miss.Stefanie already broke it down... I can only hug you :)

    Love,

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  16. JB, can't thank you enough for making me your featured blog last week. I gave you a huge shout-out on Don't Be a Slut - check 5/17 post.

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  17. I think you might be the only lesbian crazier than I am...and for that, I am truly thankful. ;)

    Thanks for the shout-out!

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  18. Jb, utterly jealous that I don't get to experience these dreams first hand, looking foward to your next subconscious installment. I uploaded some new photos, check them out xx love you

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  19. @Rene......sleep is good but she/man coming to me in my dreams oh..no.......that's wrong on so many levels.

    Love
    JB

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  20. @Gran.....wouldn't be so bad if I got more sleep and worked less. Thanks Gran, I'll take your advice.

    Love
    JB

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  21. @Miss Stef...thanks for the break down. Now I feel better or not.

    LoveYa
    JBxo

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  22. @Chrissy....I don't even use Dove products but maybe I'll start and the dreams will stop....thanks for stopping in.

    Love
    JB

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  23. @Chris...plane crashes Eh!!!!maybe you'd better not fly until the dreams stop buddy.

    Love
    JB

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  24. @Shadow...I put it on my list of things to do before I die.....what do you think?

    Love
    JB

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  25. @Lilly.....I don't know if anyone wants to see me in my birthday suit laying on a bed of mock chicken...mmmmm...that's a horror movie if you ask me. Hope things are well with you love.

    Love Ya
    JBxoxo

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  26. @Christine...drugs Eh!!!!!maybe your customers should stop doing the drugs before they pick more up...maybe? Thanks for the lovely words and god bless.

    Love
    JB

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  27. @Anna...hey there's an opening in the deli if you want it....I'm sure I can get you in, love. Hope your doing well.

    Love You lots
    JBxoxox

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  28. @Lorenzo..naked women dreams are great not in a deli counter. Yes, Stef maybe right but for now I won't look to deep.

    Love
    JB

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  29. @Anita...happy to make you gufffff out loud. I'm good at making people guffff.

    Love You lots
    JBxoxo

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  30. @Indi...I could never hate you b/c I like you tooooo much love. Happy to make you also gufffff out loud. God these dreams are making me sound nuts lolololol. Hope your doing amazing Indi....

    Love You lots
    JBxoxoxo

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  31. @Roberto.....what the hell you touch ladies feet all day hahahahah and I thought my job was insane. I sold shoes for 6 months once and let me tell you buddy I feel for you love. I guess we are both going to hell at least you got shoes I gots me some rotten meats...I hate you...lolololo

    Love
    JB

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  32. @Christine.....your so very welcome love. I meant the words and god bless you. I love Anita and she is a class act herself.


    Love
    JB

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  33. @Izzie...she/man really has come back in real life to my counter stay tuned the story is being written love. Hope your good my Izzie and thanks for always stopping in on me.

    Love you lots
    JBxoxox

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  34. @Anita...I came by to give you love and huggs. Thanks for doing this. You're truly a class act and I'm humbled to be in your circle of love. This is why I continue to write, b/c of people like you and all those that take the time to comment on my so called life....thank-you so so so much.



    Love You so much
    JBxoxoxox

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  35. @Stef...one person's insanity is anothers comfort. The shout out is well deserved. By the way I know a few gay women who make me and you look normal so don't worry.....I'm pretty sure they got it covered.

    Love Ya
    JBxoxox

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  36. @Katie...anytime you want a first hand show I'm sure I can figure something out for you love. Thanks for stopping in it's been awhile since you've come by. I know we talk but your comments are great. Hope your doing good and just so you know I'm here if you need anything my lovely....little kangaroo.

    Love You Lots
    JBxoxox

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  37. Wowo...poor guy in love with a Bi ???

    or it just a dream..:)

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  38. your dream world is a scary place indeed@

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  39. Thanks for dropping by at my site...
    Keep in touch!

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Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. Check back for my response and/or Eddy's. We love hearing from you! Peace, JB (blog owner) and Eddy ("super great cuz" & frequent guest blogger)

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