Tuesday, May 19, 2009

In The Closet

Back in December, I had this heated conversation with my Ex that I was going to blog about, but I never did. I wrote the draft & Eddy looked it over for me, but it was never published because I finally decided that I was done with her. Anyway, when I decided to feature Stephanie's blog this week, I remembered that I still had the post saved in my drafts, and thought that I'd post it now. You'll have to go over to Stephanie's blog to really understand why.

OK, about the conversation. Well, it was rather long, so I'm going to sum things up for you by saying that it all came about based on something that my Ex told me towards the end of last Summer. Basically, she said that I just have to deal with who she is now. I know what you're thinking because it's what I was thinking, i.e. exactly who is she now? So, I asked her to explain herself…

Me: OK, wtf are you trying to tell me? Spit it out.

My Ex: You don't understand what's happened to me.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Where have I been all these years, in the closet?

My Ex: What closet? What do you mean?

Me: This is going right over your head, isn't?

My Ex: (in a screeching voice) I’m straight now! I'm straight now – that's it!

Me: (totally laughing my a** off, thinking she's so far back in the closet, she can see Narnia)

My Ex: Stop laughing at me. Stop it!

Me: Please, you're not straight and never have been. It's time you accept that you’re bi.

My Ex: Stop it, JB, you don't understand me.

Me: (laughing) Stop lying to yourself. You're bi and that’s it. When you come to terms with your sexuality maybe then you'll stop yelling at me about who you really are.

My Ex: This was hard for me.

Me: What? F**king your guy friend because you couldn't leave your little nest to f**k a real man?

My Ex: Stop it! I don't want to hear this.

Me: Oh, that's it, huh? I can only say what you want to hear?

My Ex: Stop.

Me: Let me tell you something, screwing your guy friend doesn't make you straight.

My Ex: Please, I know what I did.

Me: OK, you're straight now, but for 14 years you were not straight, not bi, not anything?

My Ex: I’m sorry.

Me: Oh, yeah? OK, go be straight with your dirty, pot smoking, little boy.

There you have it, people. My Ex claims that she’s straight now. Oh, yeah? Well, just to make sure that I wasn't in my own little world with regards to how things went down, I called my therapist for another point-of-view. Turns out what I had to say did make sense, so that’s a relief. My therapist said that if my Ex has to justify her sexual orientation with me, it's a clear indication that she's confused. Furthermore, for her to spend 14 years with a woman and then suddenly claim to be straight is a lie. She's bi-sexual and simply can't deal with her sexuality.

Yes, my thoughts exactly.



  1. She is confused...I really believe she is.

  2. "Me: (totally laughing my a** off, thinking she's so far back in the closet, she can see Narnia)"

    Holy cow, I totally guffawed when I read that part.

    Geez, people who are in denial should just wake up.

  3. Of all things to be confused about. I mean, I don't get how a cell phone works, THAT'S confusing.

  4. It really makes me sad that no matter what country we live in, there's pressure to conform to straight society. It makes no sense why it matters that people are straight, gay, bi, trans, and everything in between. People are just people. What gender you identify with or whom you like to have sex with is totally irrelevant.

  5. She may be yet figuring herself out.
    You are the lucky one here. The one already knows everything about yourself and can already see otehrs and their "minds" :)
    You're the strong one here!

    [I just looove the Narnia remark :D]

    Much Love,

  6. Thanks for some drama in the night :)

  7. Ayayayay!

    The Closet would be such an awesome name for a club.

  8. Thanks for the shout-out! though I do think that people have the freedom to call themselves whatever they want, without judgment, and that this is a great example of how damaging labels can be. I do agree with Izzie in that those of us who are certain about our sexuality have it much easier.

    Have a great memorial day weekend JB!

  9. weird.. labels are so tricky sometimes. and wow 14 years?? that's a long time!

  10. 14 years is a long time to just do a 180. Craziness.

  11. There's that thing about protesting too loudly... Mixed up chick, by the sounds of it.

    Remember baby Thor? Turns out there was more to that sorry tale than we thought. Anyway, I was contacted by a bunch of people who felt duped by Mia (the mother) and in the end decided to put my views on my blog. I have started a war!! Please drop by and say something nice... ..like I'm not the anti christ, just JB's little lovable Swedish meatball, hahaha!

    LOVE YOU!!


  12. I think the little pot smoker is going to be sorely disappointed to learn that she no longer has an interest in women. I know I would be.

  13. Confused...maybe she really is still trying to figure herself out. Or maybe she DOES know and she is not yet ready to really face it. Hard to tell.

    Hope you're having a good weekend!!

  14. @Everyone....I posted this last conversation with my Ex so that I could put closure on a very sad chapter of my life.

    I think all your thoughts are right but for me the bottom line is I was betrayed and left to feel like an outsider. After all the years I never asked her to be anyone but herself. The lenghts she went to hurt me and all the people that loved and cared about her is beyond me and it will not be forgotten by any of us anytime soon...... you see it wasn't just me that this happened to.

    I thought that when you love someone you can be honest and true no matter how much it hurts. I guess now the only legacy she will have is the mess she made of her life and all the people she took down with her including me the person that she promised she would always be true to...how sad is that.


  15. Everybody's a little bisexual -- the most flaming fops, the most butch dykes, and the straightest seeming of straights. It comes down to who do you want to hang out with and who makes you comfortable. Your ex has a boyfriend that she likes. Doesn't mean she didn't like you or doesn't still like girls.


Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. Check back for my response and/or Eddy's. We love hearing from you! Peace, JB (blog owner) and Eddy ("super great cuz" & frequent guest blogger)

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