As most of you know, I had a dream that I'm supposed to help my co-worker, Jade. Well, what you don't know is that since then I have in fact been trying my best to connect with her. Of course, the thing about helping people is that, in the end, they need to want to help themselves. So, no matter what I say or do, nothing is going to change for Jade until she's ready, and that could take a while. You see, Jade might only be 24 years old, but she hasn't had it easy. Her past relationships have all been abusive & she used drugs to numb her mental, physical and emotional pain. Needless to say, life was awfully messy for Jade, and might still be today had she not given birth to a son three years ago. Now, he gets her through each day, but that doesn't change the fact that Jade’s still hurting. So, while the experiences that caused us pain might be different, pain is still pain, i.e. it hurts no matter where it comes from, and I believe that's where Jade and I will finally come to an understanding. This is why I'm not giving up on her, even though she says she doesn't like me & throws her guard up at every turn. No, I'm going to keep paying forward the support, understanding, encouragement & so much more that was offered to me when I needed it most, and I’m going to help her realize that she is an exceptional woman who hasn't even started scraping the surface of her potential. Somehow, I'm going to get through to her, and she will finally see that there are people in this world with hearts larger then she's ever known.
JB
And I thought my dreams were freaky! Nothing in recent memory comes close to the Beena Bunny (hope I'm spelling her name right).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think you're right to listen to your intuitive guidance.
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, but she might be more receptive than you think she will. Or you'll learn something valuable from the attempt.
P.S. Got your message about Technorati. Looks like they're doing some sort of site maintenance today; my blog was completely screwed up too.
@Anita..got the name right and thanks for the advice. I know no matter what I will learn something from this. As for bunnies and me well that remains to be seen.
ReplyDeleteLove Ya
JB
I thinking helping someone who you think doesnt want help, really wants help. Just my thought though, things are usually a scram for help but are afraid o ask. PRIDE.
ReplyDeleteListen to your intuition...
I think sometime when someone has gone through trouble , it is hard to trust again. It is always easier sticking to the same pattern, change causes lots of fear. I think you just need to be patient. Take Care. Cinner
ReplyDeleteListen to your gut, jb!
ReplyDeletesometimes just being open to communication is a great blessing to them hon.
ReplyDeleteawesome that you're dedicated.
she should be grateful to have someone like you around. it doesn't happen often. i can remember times when i needed someone like you and there was no-one. and i remember times when i needed someone like you and there was someone. and those times tingle in my memories, happiness and sadness mingled, but happiness overrides...
ReplyDeleteLovely, lovely JB - I think I just fell in love with you. Well, more than before.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, where's Joyless Prole gone!!!! I'm distraught!
Love you.
xx
Good luck JB. You have a big heart and you'll need a lot of patience. You can't help those who don't want your help, although people like Jade also do not want to admit the need a friendly soul. Hugs
ReplyDeleteA very humane thing to do, JB.
ReplyDeleteYou're the man (figuratively speaking!)
Good for you, JB. Jade is lucky to have such a good friend whether she realizes it or not.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you both.
good move
ReplyDeletei hope she looks up soon!
I also have a friend that I am trying to help out of the dark tunnel of divorce. It is the worst divorce!! The poor woman lost all of her hair from the stress. It has dragged on now for almost 2 years!!
ReplyDelete"Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path, but the lesson to be learned is always ours."
ReplyDeleteYou're a great friend and coworker but Jade has to do something for herself too.
@everyone........ thank-you for your thoughts and ideas they mean a lot to me. I realise that helping others is a daunting task but to me it feels right so I'm going to go with it no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI also understand that you need accept the help and want to help yourself first and foremost. The other thing about helping others for me is the help it gives me in return.
In the words of LazyKing....
"Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path, but the lesson to be learned is always ours."
Peace
JB
Awwww!! jb you make my day. :)
ReplyDeleteI would do the same thing because sometimes I take my dreams seriously. (except that one dream that I dreamt there was a Zombie outbreak)
-Gina :)
I think you have the right idea. You can't force help on someone who is not ready for it but you can still help. When you have years of so many different people or circumstances telling you that you are worthless it takes more than one person a few times feeling you they are wrong to before you start to open up yourself to that possibility. I'm so glad to read that you will not give up, she'll come around...I know she will.
ReplyDeleteI just read the technocratic comment by DBAS, I was so upset the other day because I was worried that someone hacked my account. I'm glad to know that it is probably tech troubles.
ReplyDelete@gina...thanks alot for the comment. I hope you've been good.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
@LLnL......your right people have to want the help and feel comfortable enough to open up before anything happens. I won't give up b/c I wouldn't want someone to give up on me.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB