Thursday, September 27, 2012

Shitty McShitty

Like many of you out there, I start my mornings off with a coffee. Well, not today. Instead, it started with a loud knock at my door. Seeing as it was still early, I knew it could only be one person.

Mother: JB, hey, open da door, please! 

Me: (seriously, what is she doing here at this hour?) Ma, stop yelling. I’m coming.

Mother: Hurry up!! 

Me: (opening the door) What? What’s wrong?

Mother: (barging past me) My stomach hurt. I be up all night. I can’t go. I’m constipate. Oh my God, the pain! 

Me: (yeah, and what about my pain?) You mean constipated, not constipate.

Mother: (nothing, just her evil glare)

Me: (closing the door) Ma, it’s 8:30 in the morning and I haven’t even had my coffee. What do you want me to do, give you an enema?

Mother: (yelling) No, make fun of me, JB! I can’t go and I’m in pain!! 

Me: Well, I have some Metamucil. You can take that.

Mother: (angry) No, that no working! I need go buy my medicine! 

Me: (annoyed) For the love of God, okay, Shitty McShitty!! I will take you to buy your medicine, but can I pleeeeeease make myself a coffee first?

Mother: (practically poking my right eye out with her finger) Why you have to swear at me? 

Me: (oh, f**k me…) Because it is 8:30am, I just woke up and you want me to take you to buy laxatives -- that’s why!

Mother: (still pointing her finger) You don’t go mad at me! I need my medicine, okay? 

Me: (omg, kill me now) Yes, okay, Ma. I will take you to the pharmacy, but first I need a coffee and a couple Advil.

Mother: You get dress. I make you cahfee, so you go fast. 

Whatever you say, Shitty McShitty.


Friday, September 21, 2012

The Journey: Starting Over

I was hanging out in the Russian’s kitchen the other day, reminiscing about what my life’s been like, and I had this moment. I came to the realization that I am a great dreamer. I think back to times in my life and I find so much awe and beauty in the memories. Sometimes they make me cry, sometimes they make me laugh out loud, and sometimes they make me long for a time I want to relive again because it was so perfectly wondrous.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but we can’t go back. We must move forward through this journey called life. We can’t choose where the road will take us or predict what we will find along the way, but we must explore.

No doubt this has been said or written by people much wiser than me. Eddy often tells me I ramble, yet she somehow knows what I’m getting at and helps me organize my thoughts on here so you guys can make sense of it all too. Anyway, I digress.

If that "a-ha" moment wasn’t enough to get me thinking, the Russian also said something that really touched me. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m looking for a new career, so when we got on to the topic of how I’ve never really done something that was 100% for me, the Russian said:

"The reason your journey was hard is because you’ve never had a support system that truly loved you and helped you achieve what you loved and believed in. Now you have a chance to take the journey again because life gives you more then one chance and we all need to take a leap of faith when it appears. This time I will come with you because I believe in you as deeply as you believe in yourself. I know that this is the right road not just for you, but for the both of us. Stop wasting time and start making the right choices for yourself and not for others."

My love! What a wise, kind and beautiful human being! Sometimes you really do need someone to make you come to your senses and remember that people start over all the time and you can too.

So, as I embark on my new journey, I keep in mind that I can make choices along the way, but I can’t control what will happen as I go. I simply must trust and go forth. Guaranteed it won’t be easy, but that’s life. I’m just grateful I won’t have to go it alone.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

On the Mend

For 3 months I’ve left all of you hanging in blog oblivion without a single bit of information, but today it’s time for catch up with JB.

If you read my post OMG, I’m a Mess! – Part Four, then you might remember me telling you that I was going to need surgery. Well, after a bunch of rescheduling, I finally went under the knife and I’m feeling much better. The physiotherapy is tough, but its part of the recovery process and it’s going to be a while before my arm is 100% again, if at all. I definitely can’t go back to doing the same kind of work anymore because it’s the overuse, the repetitive motion day in and day out, that caused the problem to begin with.

Speaking of work, I’ve now been off for 5 months, which is a really long time for someone who’s always worked, but it’s made me realize that I don’t like my place of employment. It’s not that I don’t like my job (well, except the caking making part, I really don’t like it), I just don’t like the working environment. It’s just not a happy place. So, combined with the fact that I can’t do the same labour intensive work anymore, anyway -- I’m looking for a new career. I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I do know that I will not continue to bust my a** for a company that doesn’t care about its employees.

You see, after everything that I’ve been through these last few months, I know that I’ve done myself a huge disservice by not taking care of myself. We work for a living, but if we’re killing ourselves to get the job done, we’re not living, we’re dying. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to be doing pretty damn great when I actually reach retirement. I want to enjoy the years I have left, instead of being so broken down physically and mentally (not to mention emotionally and spiritually) that I can hardly function.

So, for anyone who understands where I’m coming from and is just as scared and totally overwhelmed as I am at the idea of making a change for the better, let’s feel the fear and do it anyway.

Who’s with me?

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