Wednesday, February 1, 2012

What Employees Want

I mentioned in my first post back from hiatus that I'm in the new manager-training program at work. What I didn't mention is that I was also elected by the staff in my store to be their new union representative. This is a volunteer position and most of what I do is conflict resolution, which means the staff complains a lot about anything and everything that has nothing to do with the contract that we all have to sign in order to work there. If they would actually take the time to read the contract before coming to me with their nonsense, they would know that I can't do anything about 99% of their complaints.

Needless to say, not only do I have to explain the collective agreement to everyone, but I also have to tell them that their claims are not justifiable or worth the embarrassment. I wonder when they approach me if they have put any thought into the request they are about to hand me. I think not!!!

Anyway, I was sent to take a course to get my steward certificate to be on the negotiation committee for our new contract that takes effect this month. Afterwards, the head union steward told me to come up with five or more important negotiation items that the employees should receive in this new contract, so I did and he approved my suggestions. We then nominated one person in every department to speak to their staff and write down some suggestions that they wanted us to consider and possibly discuss when we sit down with the company to start negotiating terms. Well, as you can probably imagine, what they asked for was nowhere near realistic.

Check out this list:

1. A couple of sofas, a TV and an Xbox in the lunchroom

Right, so you guys can find other ways not to do your jobs? Not gonna happen.

2. A window in the lunchroom

FYI, our lunch room is in the middle of the store, so unless we tunnel through to the outside, this can't happen either.

3. A bigger men's bathroom

Seriously, guys? Exactly how many of you are in there at one time? Are 2 urinals and 2 stalls really not enough??

4. Three extra 5 minute smoke breaks

WTF? They already take smoke breaks whenever they h*ll they want without clocking out, so why even bother asking for this??

5. A Tim Horton’s coffee machine so we don't have to walk across the street to buy coffee

As if we can get an actual Tim Horton's coffee machine. WTF, people? How about you guys buy some Tim's coffee and brew it in the lunch room yourselves, idiots!

6. Weekends off

Sure, the customers can serve themselves on Saturday or Sunday. Genius idea, morons!

7. Casual Friday’s... no uniforms at all

The words "at all" were underlined 10 times, so I guess this one is really important. LOL

8. A choice between hairnets and hats, or no hairnets at all would be preferable.

We work with food, people. You guys seriously think this is going to be approved?

9. More heat in the store because it's really cold

Believe it or not, I actually agree with this one, but it won't happen. Wear more layers, people!!

10. Free shoes

Never going to happen. Besides, the free uniforms they give us are crap, so can you imagine what kind of shoes we'd get if they went for this idea?

11. Store closed on Sunday

Hahaha!! In case you guys forgot, the government decided stores should be open on Sunday's, not us.

- JB
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