Knowing that there is worse pain doesn't make present pain hurt any less.
- Real Live Preacher
Definitions for the word 'pain' found on the Web:
- a symptom of some physical hurt or disorder
- emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid
- a somatic sensation of acute discomfort
- something or someone that causes trouble; a source of unhappiness
- cause emotional anguish or make miserable
It’s -30 outside and I’m sitting here in my PJ's wondering when the pain in my heart will subside. I figure that maybe at some point it will stop or I will stop it. I haven’t figured out how yet, but sooner or later it has to go away.
The pain I feel is comprised of loneliness, sadness, disappointment, and yearning for someone who is completely oblivious and unaware of what has happened to us. I guess living in denial is easier. I wish I could be like her... dead inside. Sure, my Ex claims to be sorry, but it’s me who's alone at night with my memories and heartache. This is who I am... a heartbroken, lonely, slightly depressed person who can’t let go of the love that held her together for so many years. She, on the other hand, is a cold, heartless wench with no feelings for me whatsoever, and I don’t get it at all. How can she just put it out of her mind like it never happened?
Holy crap, I just read that back, and I'm pathetic. Please, someone slap me in the face and tell to f**king get a grip. I should be confined to a small room & made to forget, but how do you make the heart forget? I feel sad and I miss her... that’s it and that’s all.
P.S. About that room, better make it a padded one, please. I hear it's easier to write on the walls.