Kids

The other day, my sister called to tell me yet another priceless story about my 4 year old cousin. This kid is always up to something, and this time the little bugger decided to test the weather with one of his body parts (not a good idea, let me tell you) when his Nonna was walking him to school. Today it's about 12 below zero outside, but last week we were in a deep freeze, so every day was 30 to 40 below zero. In other words, it was freakin' freezin' outside. Anyway, everything was fine until Nonna stopped to button up her jacket a little higher, so the collar would cover more of her face. In the few seconds that it took to make the adjustment, my cousin managed to get stuck to a steel pole by way if his tongue.

Cousin: Ahuh... Namna!

Nonna: OMG! What is wrong with you? Why did you do this?

Cousin: I dant dohw... I sawb dem do ipt im schuhhl.

Nonna: Not in -40 weather, honey.

Cousin: Pleece, Namna, helb.

Well, Nonna did her best, slowly pulling to free his tongue, but it just wasn't happening. So, she called up his father and relayed the news. He was not impressed, not one bit. Unfortunately, when he showed up, he couldn't free my cousin either, and that left them only one other option, they had to call 911.

Operator: 911, what is your emergency?

Father: My son licked a pole and his tongue is stuck to it.

Operator: Excuse me? What is the emergency?

Father: My son is stuck to a pole.

Operator: Your son is stuck to a pole?

Father: Yes.

Operator: By his tongue? That's what you said, correct?

Father: Yes.

Operator: Where?

Father: Outside.

Operator: Outside where? Outside your house?

Father: No, nearby his school.

Operator: Sir, have you tried to pull him off the pole?

Father: Yes.

Operator: And?

Father: Nothing. The pole has him by the tongue and it won't let him go.

Operator: The pole won't let him go?

Father: No, the pole is winning, my son is bleeding, and we are freezing. Please, send someone to help us.

Operator: OK, let me get this straight, the pole is outside by the school, it has your son by the mouth, and it won't free him from it's grasp?

Father: Yes.

Operator: I'm dispatching ambulance and fire, sir. Please stay at the location.

Father: Where else do you think we'll go, lady? My son is stuck to a pole.

I'm pretty sure that 911 operator must have peed herself trying to refrain from laughing because that's pretty much what I'm doing right now trying to relay this story. LOL

Anyway, the emergency services came, applied some sort of goop to the pole, and peeled my cousin off of it. Meanwhile, as if all that wasn't bad enough, there was a $50 fee for each service because they didn't consider what had happened to be a 'real' emergency.

I don't know about you guys, but a 4 year old child stuck to a steel pole by way of his tongue in 40 below weather sounds like an emergency to me.

JB