Monday, January 26, 2009

Customer Request of the Week: Shav-ed Ham

For those of you who don't know, I've been helping out my friend at his deli for a couple of months now, and I have to say that it's been a nice change from the restaurant biz. Seriously, I enjoy my time there very much. Anyway, I promised that I would write deli related posts, so I thought I'd start off with a customer request for ham, more specifically, shav-ed ham. No, that is not a typo. Read it out loud to yourself for a second, shav... ed... ham. I figured that the lady making the request meant 'shaved' ham and was just pronouncing it 'shav-ed' because of her accent (her first language was clearly French), but no.

JB: Good afternoon, mam. What can I get for you today?

Lady: I would like some shav-ed ham.

JB: Mam, do you mean, 'shaved' ham?

Lady: No, shav-ed ham.

JB: OK (wtf??), mam, what kind of ham?

Lady: Shav-ed ham.

JB: Yes, I know, but what kind? We have Black Forest Ham, Honey Maple Ham, Honey Maple Garlic Ham, Smoked Ham, Hardwood Ham, Cooked Ham, Peppered Ham...

Lady: No, I want shav-ed ham.

JB: (OMG, are you for real, lady?) Mam, I understand, but which kind would you like me to shave for you?

Lady: Shav-ed ham!

JB: Shav-ed ham, OK. I can shav-ed anything for you, but you have to tell me what kind of ham.

Lady: Ah, shav-ed ham... that's all I want.

JB: I know that's all you want, but you need to tell me what kind of shav-ed ham you want.

Lady: (throwing her hands up in the air) Uh, enough! I want nothing.

Off she went, leaving me completely dumbfounded.

Co-Worker: (coming in from the back of the store) JB, are you OK?

JB: Yeah... Um, do we have shav-ed ham?

Co-Worker: What?

JB: Do we have shav-ed ham?

Co-Worker: You mean 'shaved' ham?

JB: No, shav-ed. That lady who just left, she wanted shav-ed ham.

Co-Worker: There's no such thing as shav-ed ham.

JB: Ok, just checking.

I dare you to go to your deli and ask for shav-ed ham. Let me know what happens.



  1. Is it possible that she wanted Edam cheese?

    Ok, lame attempt lol

    You could've asked her to tell you what she wanted in French. Jambon sounds nothing like ham. Or does it...?

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  3. I think I would have just pulled the cheapest ham off the rack and "shav-ed" it for her.

  4. HAHA, hilarious.

    I'm hope she went home and told her husband who corrected her on the whole ham terminolgy thing.

    You did well, I would have cried out of frustration

  5. HaHa... priceless! =D

    If that were me... I'd go with Jeff here... ;)

    As for the going to my deli thingy... after reading this?... I think it will take me sometime to be able to get into one without laughing my head off...


    P.S - your verification word is chinesi (LOL)

    People in the world!!
    How could you NOT lose your temper..I would have totally flipped!!!!!

    Hey JB check out my new blog look...

  7. @everyone who read this, all I waned to do to shave-ed ham lady is throw a ham in her face....ahhhhh.
    Thanks for reading and wait for it she came back....aahhhhhhh.


  8. I literally laughed til I cried just now.

    I hate ridiculous customer requests.

  9. @Amanda...wait for it she came back for I almost jumped over the counter and hit her over the head with the salami.

    Hope your doing good girl...still dancing I hope.


  10. was she jewish? because that sounds like a type of jew ham.


  11. @SFBF, if this was a jew ham, well she needed me to insert it into her hammy jew for the jew ham, I still would have shav-ed it for her.

    Love Ya

  12. Wow Shav-ed ham... lol wtf is that? I even googled it...and nope...its shaved ham...any ham...shaved.

  13. @Pk.....exactly shav-ed ham. she came back and asked for salmi with no fat wait for the story it's freaking priceless.



Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. Check back for my response and/or Eddy's. We love hearing from you! Peace, JB (blog owner) and Eddy ("super great cuz" & frequent guest blogger)

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