For those of you who don't know, I've been helping out my friend at his deli for a couple of months now, and I have to say that it's been a nice change from the restaurant biz. Seriously, I enjoy my time there very much. Anyway, I promised that I would write deli related posts, so I thought I'd start off with a customer request for ham, more specifically, shav-ed ham. No, that is not a typo. Read it out loud to yourself for a second, shav... ed... ham. I figured that the lady making the request meant 'shaved' ham and was just pronouncing it 'shav-ed' because of her accent (her first language was clearly French), but no.
JB: Good afternoon, mam. What can I get for you today?
Lady: I would like some shav-ed ham.
JB: Mam, do you mean, 'shaved' ham?
Lady: No, shav-ed ham.
JB: OK (wtf??), mam, what kind of ham?
Lady: Shav-ed ham.
JB: Yes, I know, but what kind? We have Black Forest Ham, Honey Maple Ham, Honey Maple Garlic Ham, Smoked Ham, Hardwood Ham, Cooked Ham, Peppered Ham...
Lady: No, I want shav-ed ham.
JB: (OMG, are you for real, lady?) Mam, I understand, but which kind would you like me to shave for you?
Lady: Shav-ed ham!
JB: Shav-ed ham, OK. I can shav-ed anything for you, but you have to tell me what kind of ham.
Lady: Ah, shav-ed ham... that's all I want.
JB: I know that's all you want, but you need to tell me what kind of shav-ed ham you want.
Lady: (throwing her hands up in the air) Uh, enough! I want nothing.
Off she went, leaving me completely dumbfounded.
Co-Worker: (coming in from the back of the store) JB, are you OK?
JB: Yeah... Um, do we have shav-ed ham?
JB: Do we have shav-ed ham?
Co-Worker: You mean 'shaved' ham?
JB: No, shav-ed. That lady who just left, she wanted shav-ed ham.
Co-Worker: There's no such thing as shav-ed ham.
JB: Ok, just checking.
I dare you to go to your deli and ask for shav-ed ham. Let me know what happens.