For those of you who don't know, I've been helping out my friend at his deli for a couple of months now, and I have to say that it's been a nice change from the restaurant biz. Seriously, I enjoy my time there very much. Anyway, I promised that I would write deli related posts, so I thought I'd start off with a customer request for ham, more specifically, shav-ed ham. No, that is not a typo. Read it out loud to yourself for a second, shav... ed... ham. I figured that the lady making the request meant 'shaved' ham and was just pronouncing it 'shav-ed' because of her accent (her first language was clearly French), but no.
JB: Good afternoon, mam. What can I get for you today?
Lady: I would like some shav-ed ham.
JB: Mam, do you mean, 'shaved' ham?
Lady: No, shav-ed ham.
JB: OK (wtf??), mam, what kind of ham?
Lady: Shav-ed ham.
JB: Yes, I know, but what kind? We have Black Forest Ham, Honey Maple Ham, Honey Maple Garlic Ham, Smoked Ham, Hardwood Ham, Cooked Ham, Peppered Ham...
Lady: No, I want shav-ed ham.
JB: (OMG, are you for real, lady?) Mam, I understand, but which kind would you like me to shave for you?
Lady: Shav-ed ham!
JB: Shav-ed ham, OK. I can shav-ed anything for you, but you have to tell me what kind of ham.
Lady: Ah, shav-ed ham... that's all I want.
JB: I know that's all you want, but you need to tell me what kind of shav-ed ham you want.
Lady: (throwing her hands up in the air) Uh, enough! I want nothing.
Off she went, leaving me completely dumbfounded.
Co-Worker: (coming in from the back of the store) JB, are you OK?
JB: Yeah... Um, do we have shav-ed ham?
Co-Worker: What?
JB: Do we have shav-ed ham?
Co-Worker: You mean 'shaved' ham?
JB: No, shav-ed. That lady who just left, she wanted shav-ed ham.
Co-Worker: There's no such thing as shav-ed ham.
JB: Ok, just checking.
I dare you to go to your deli and ask for shav-ed ham. Let me know what happens.
JB
Is it possible that she wanted Edam cheese?
ReplyDeleteOk, lame attempt lol
You could've asked her to tell you what she wanted in French. Jambon sounds nothing like ham. Or does it...?
Hi,
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I think I would have just pulled the cheapest ham off the rack and "shav-ed" it for her.
ReplyDeleteHAHA, hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI'm hope she went home and told her husband who corrected her on the whole ham terminolgy thing.
You did well, I would have cried out of frustration
HaHa... priceless! =D
ReplyDeleteIf that were me... I'd go with Jeff here... ;)
As for the going to my deli thingy... after reading this?... I think it will take me sometime to be able to get into one without laughing my head off...
Hugs,
P.S - your verification word is chinesi (LOL)
HAHAHAHAHAH....
ReplyDelete:D
People in the world!!
How could you NOT lose your temper..I would have totally flipped!!!!!
Hey JB check out my new blog look...
@everyone who read this, all I waned to do to shave-ed ham lady is throw a ham in her face....ahhhhh.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and wait for it she came back....aahhhhhhh.
Peace
JB
I literally laughed til I cried just now.
ReplyDeleteI hate ridiculous customer requests.
@Amanda...wait for it she came back for salami..wtf I almost jumped over the counter and hit her over the head with the salami.
ReplyDeleteHope your doing good girl...still dancing I hope.
Huggs
JB
was she jewish? because that sounds like a type of jew ham.
ReplyDelete-SFBF
@SFBF, if this was a jew ham, well she needed me to insert it into her hammy jew ass.....as for the jew ham, I still would have shav-ed it for her.
ReplyDeleteLove Ya
JB
Wow Shav-ed ham... lol wtf is that? I even googled it...and nope...its shaved ham...any ham...shaved.
ReplyDelete@Pk.....exactly wtf..is shav-ed ham. she came back and asked for salmi with no fat wait for the story it's freaking priceless.
ReplyDeletePeace
JB