This week was my first week back on my feet at the deli since my banana slip. I’m still pretty sore, but the dizziness has subsided for the most part. As long as I don’t make any sudden movements, I’m alright. I'll tell you who isn't alright though. It's a woman who came in and asked me a question that left me, well, stunned.
Me: Hi there, what can I get you today?
Woman: What’s the least fake meat that you have?
Me: (like I said, stunned) Ah… nothing really.
Woman: What do you mean nothing?
Me: Nothing means nothing.
Woman: Surely, there has to be something?
Me: Um...
Woman: Not all this stuff is bad.
Me: (it’s processed meat, lady) Some are better than others, but…
Woman: I need some meats for school lunches for my kids.
Me: Well, I would choose something from the more expensive meats (pointing them out for her). They cost a bit more, but are less processed, which means they have less nitrates & sodium.
Woman: Those are too expensive.
Me: (but you sure can afford that Louie Vuitton handbag you got hanging off your shoulder & the Burberry scarf around your neck) If it’s least fake meat that you’re after, this is it.
Woman: Hmm… this is more complicated then I thought.
Me: (just watching her survey the meats and thinking to myself, why, because if you spend too much on lunch meat, you can’t by a pair of new shoes today?)
Then, after a minute or so…
Me: (glancing at the line of customers waiting to be served) Mam, have you decided?
Woman: Yes.
Me: (finally) OK, what will it be?
Woman: I'll take 200 grams of chicken salami, 300 grams of mock chicken, and 200 grams of maple leaf bologna.
Me: Alright, I’ll get that ready to go for you.
Off I went to the slicer, thinking what the h*ll is wrong with some people? I mean, if she can afford designer fashion, surely she can afford to buy healthier food for her children. Seriously, for someone who wanted our least fake meat, she couldn't have picked something more fake than mock chicken. It’s "mock" chicken.
Me: (handing over her packages) There you go.
Woman: Thanks for all your help (what help? the help you ignored?) & sorry for keeping you. I see you've gotten busy.
Me: Oh, no worries. (just go already… go buy whatever it is that’s more important than what you feed your children)
Man, my head hurts...
JB
I love that you mentioned her purse, scarf, etc. People come into work and order like that all the time (pizzas, wings, etc) and are so cheap about tipping after you've been watching us run around the kitchen forever. Ignorance is bliss right?
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, also, for the kind words you continuously put on my blog. They make me compelled to keep writing. xoxo.
People and their priorities, ehh...
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't worry too much though, JB. It's gonna take some time, but eventually Nature will take necessary steps. It's called "natural selection". They'll extinct wearing haute couture.
This made me giggle!People are sooo weird at time!
ReplyDeleteI give you credit for at least trying to help her. I would have said "animals died for all our meat, so it's all pretty un-fake."
ReplyDeletewell this changes what I think about eating meat.
ReplyDeleteAll kinds of meat.
Literally and figuratively.
I went to the deli yesterday to pick up some roast beef, and the deli person asked: "sliced or shaved?" Before I could stop myself I said, "Oh, you're out of the shav-ed, then? I guess I'll just have it sliced..."
ReplyDeleteThe look on his face was priceless!
That kind of gave me a chuckle! I prefer the least fake meat myself. ;-)
ReplyDeleteoh man!! this is such a crack up!!! I chuckled at the "mock meat" too before I read your commentary.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA.
Good content, JB, good content. :)
Fantastic! That's easily one of the weirder exchanges between two people that I've heard in ages!! :)
ReplyDeleteHow you didn't unleash bile and vitriol all over her, I'll never know.
She seems frighteningly out of touch, I'd say!!
@Amanda...damm right ignorance is freaking bliss...and my words on your blog are true because your true,stick to your plan of life....and watch it grow.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
@Jerry do you have connection with the natural selection gods b/c I could have used them on her.....she could have ordered Mortadella it would have been better for her kids at 12 cents more.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
@jeff yeah, if she could think that far..like animals died so your kids can eat, get fat and die from all the nitrates and other crap they use to make this shit from the poor animals that suffered to make it less fake.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
@Perplxin Texan, well this is only the half of what I get. Thanks for droping in and commenting.
ReplyDeletePeace
JB
@Breath of Insanity......lolololol his face must have been priceless. I left you comment on your blog oh...yeah happy valentines day lolol yeah right!!!!
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
@Lux.....please only eat the good stuff. I don't want to see you go to the vet to get your cute little kitty tummy pumped....meow. Thanks for dropping by and hope your feeling meow terrific.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
@floreta, the mock chicken is the biggest seller in the counter...mmmm..gross. This lady was out of touch and out of her mind. Trust me, there's more of them out there then you think.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
@svasti...bile all over her, was what I wanted to do, but instead I tried to point her in a better direction but she wanted least fake but bought the most fake in the counter lololol nutty eh.... People are very very out of touch for sure.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
Mock chicken? Is that as nasty as it sounds?
ReplyDeleteWhy would someone eat a chicken knockoff?
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Are all your customers like her? (rolls eyes) Just a thought, but her designer garb might well have been knock-offs.
ReplyDeleteBetter luck tomorrow!
Ugh there's nothing worst than serving a bad customer.
ReplyDeleteI see you're from Quebec! I lived in Montreal for 5 years! Which part are you in?
@bella...it's as nasty as it sounds. The question you should be asking is, why would anyone, feed a chicken knock off, to they're kids. Thanks for stopping by.
ReplyDeleteCheers
JB
@crystal.....well, you got me thinking, she ordered mock chicken, a knock off chicken, so now I'm assuming that the designer wear was a knock off.
ReplyDeleteThe Customers,are pretty out there on the most part ,thank goodness or I'd have less to write about. Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment.
Cheers
JB
Well you know the fashion savvy mom has to pick and choose her priorities after all. Thanks for the writing material by the way. I hadn't even heard about those two kids.
ReplyDeleteIts so, so sad. We are happy to put poison in our bodies and those of our children yet spend a fortune on our cars, clothes, accessories etc. I often think that there are kids out there who have never tasted real food. Enjoyed this post. Thanks for dropping by my blog. Loved your Vday story!!
ReplyDeleteAPparently fake meat induced mental retardation affects her as well as her children.
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's Day wishes to you!
ReplyDeleteMine too.... :)
ReplyDeleteHaha... funny!!
ReplyDelete@tess you rock my world, just read your post, you are my hero...and I love the photos. i'm lolololol so much i'm crying.
ReplyDeleteLove
JB
@lux....happy v-day my little kitty meow meow.....and thanks for the love.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
@braja...me too it hurts lolol happy V-day to you and your snake. thanks for coming by.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JB
Indi...hahahah welcome to canada. Just got your mail willbe getting you what you need inthe next day sweety. Happy you had a safe trip......lolol can't believe your so close.
ReplyDeleteLove & Huggs
JB
haha, oh dear. you should have told her to eat falafal instead.
ReplyDeletei honestly hate people like that, i wonder if they realise just how ridiculous they seem to normal people like you and i ;)
hope you're well x
@katie...I think she should have gotten the hell away from me instead lololol. Hope all's good down under my little aussi stripper lolololol...just kidding.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
JBxoxo
hahaha...don't people crack you up sometimes??!?!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog...hope you plan to return! :)
That is AWESOME that you live in Gatineau!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering when I would meet my first French-Canadian blogger!
Oh my gosh - that is ridiculous. I am always shocked by the things people will do.
ReplyDeleteYou get props for maintaining composure and providing great customer service. Seriously, if I became a mom someday,I won't be cheap like her.
ReplyDeleteyou have written the incident very nicely...can almost picture the woman asking for 'fake' meat in a snobbish voice...and especially liked those 'thoughts' in brackets :)
ReplyDelete*sigh*
ReplyDeletePeople these days..
<3
-Gina
Reminds me of my friend that went all "organic" but gives her kids a bunch of pills for ADD and mood regulators.
ReplyDelete