At least once a week there is this one particular elderly woman that I usually end up serving at the deli. Unlike some people, she never causes me any grief, so imagine how surprised (more like shocked) I was last week when I discovered that the old gal is not as innocent as she seems.
Manager: (who was standing beside me at the time, nudges me and whispers) Watch out for that old lady.
Me: (glancing in the direction my manager was looking) Who? (seeing the old woman) Her? She’s really nice.
Manager: Oh, you think?
Me: Yeah, why?
Manager: She’s a shoplifter.
Me: (stunned) What??
Manager: Not only that, she’s the leader of an entire gang of old folks who steal.
Me: (super duper stunned) WHAT??!!
Manager: It’s true.
Me: OMG, how many of them are there?
Manager: Including Anna, there are six.
Me: Anna?? You know her name?
Manager: Oh, yeah. Anna & her gang made the paper for stealing from one end of the city to the other.
Me: Seriously? They steal citywide?
Manager: Yup. They all come in together, but only one does the actual stealing because the rest are busy causing some sort of distraction so that everyone comes to the rescue of old folks in distress.
Me: (laughing) OMG, that is so crazy!! What the h*ll are they stealing?
Manager: Meat, cheese, milk… You name it, they steal it.
Me: (still laughing) Holy crap!
Manager: I can't believe you haven't seen them in the winter. Anna wears this big fur coat with inside pockets and she stashes meat in them.
Me: (practically on the floor laughing) Fur coat??!! Meat??!!
Manager: Yup, they really got a thing for meat.
Me: OMG, what do they do with it?
Manager: They go back to the retirement home and sell their stolen goods to the other old people… with a mark up.
Me: WHAT?? They do not!! No!!!
Manager: I'm totally serious.
Me: OMG, I have to ask my sister if she’s seen them in her store.
Manager: I wouldn't doubt it.
When I got home, the first thing I did was call up my sister to ask about Anna & her gang. Being the know-it-all that my sister is, I should have known that she’d heard about them long before I did.
Sister: Uh, yeah, stupid (oh, how she loves me), it’s the same bunch of old folks that steal from stores in our end of the city.
Me: Are you kidding me? They go all the way to where you are too?
Sister: Sure, they were here last week. They go from one end of the city to the other so they don't get caught.
Me: Holy sh*t!!
Sister: We know about them though, so our floor walkers (i.e. undercover security) stay right behind them all the time.
Me: But they're old people.
Sister: And they’re f**kin' evil! (OK, easy, girl) They resell what they steal to their old friends for double the cost.
Me: Geez, it's like a fu**ked up version of Robin Hood.
Sister: (laughing) Yeah, pretty much.
After I hung up the phone, I sat back & tried to make sense of it all. I mean, what the heck is going on? Could it be that Anna and her gang are so bored that they have to get their kicks by stealing? Are things so bad in their retirement home that they have to steal food & other items? I don't know what to think.