Monday, August 4, 2008

The Other Side

When you haven't been on a date in years, it's kinda strange to be sitting in front of someone who is essentially about give you an interview. For some people, dating has become a sport. Exactly how many times do you play the dating game before you meet the person who wows you? Well, I say it's going to take a while because, as far as I can tell, people are lost. They don't know what they want and they don't know what they have until it's gone.

Here's the scoop about me: I was in love, I got dumped, and I've recently started dating again. All I have to say about dating at my age is that everyone has a story. In fact, they all seem to have similar stories --- married once, husband cheated or stopped loving them, they had children, and now they are restarting their lives. I do my best to listen because a lot of these women need someone just to listen to them, but it's weird because all of these women are coming from relationships with men, and going to a man-free zone on the "other side" -- my side. It's like these women think that it's better to be with women than with men, and that's where I come in and try to explain that it's all the same. Women are not better than men; they are the same. Just because you think it's better to be with a woman, doesn't mean that you're going to be immune to being hurt by one. Nobody gets by unscathed when love fails, no matter what side you're bating for. Hurt is hurt. Man or woman, it will hurt. That's it.

Anyway, on and on they go, and I sit & listen, and wonder what the h*ll I'm doing there. I am not going on a training mission for straight women who want to change sides because their husbands f*cked them over, so they're going to show them, or me, or God, or the cat, or the dog, or h*ll if I know that they can finally be themselves --- gay, happy, and free. I don't think so, ladies. It does not work like that, and, as I said before, someone always gets hurt in the end. When I ask these women if they've actually ever been with a woman, usually they tell me that they had an experience in high school, or when they were in college or university. My fave answer has to be when they tell me that they always knew that they were attracted to women. OK, right, but you still got married and had kids?? When I ask these women what they're looking for right now, the answers are even better... not. Most of them say that they are looking for someone who will love them for who they are. Right, but do you even know who that is?? Oh, and I just love it when they tell me that they're looking for their "sweetie." What the h*ll is that?? "My sweetie" -- please, spare me! When they talk like that I wonder if being straight has affected their brains. If it's not those type of responses coming out of their mouths, I get this deep philosophical bullsh*t that makes no sense whatsoever, and I just smile and say, "Yeah, yeah, I get where you're coming from (and I can't wait to get the h*ll away from you because if you're coming over to my side, I'm going to find a boyfriend)." Please, don't ever wonder why men are gay. Women do it to them. Women are not in their right minds, especially when they have their period. I know this because I am a woman.

So, yeah, dating... I will keep discovering who is really "out" -- or -- who thinks they should be. I will try to keep the straight ones on the straight path, but if a few slip by at least I will have given them enough tools to get them started on their lesbian super adventure.



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