Dealing

There is a great Marilyn Manson song that I have been listening to called "The Speed of Pain" (it's on the Mechanical Animals CD), Please, do yourself a favour and take a listen to it if you've been searching for words to describe the pain that was inflicted upon you by someone you loved. My fave line in the song is "I wish I could sleep, but I can't lay on my back because there's a knife for everyday that I've known you." This line sums it up for me, today at least. Perhaps, tomorrow, when I pull one of the 4745 knifes out of my back and wash the black blood off, I may feel a little better about it. For now, Marilyn Manson and Eckhart Tolle are my two closest friends. If you are wondering how they fit together, they just do.

Meanwhile, this story, my story, has so many layers, so many characters, that it will take some time unfold in its entirety. Getting dumped has offered me a way of dealing with the hurt and the betrayal in so many new ways. I think this will be a good journey for me and whoever else wants to tag along. Just remember to be careful what you wish for because it may not be what you really want

JB