Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Stupid Customer Questions

Happy 2012, everybody!!

Did any of you make New Year's resolutions? I think most people do, but it's sticking to them that's the tricky part. We start out with good intentions, then life happens, and suddenly we're back into the same old routine again. Oh, well... :)

So, in my last post I mentioned that I was going to put together a list of stupid questions that customers dared to ask me during the holidays. There were a whole bunch of them, but I'm only going to list ten and ask that you promise never to ask your local Bakery clerk these questions, ever.


1. Do you sell bread?

~ Are you f-ing making fun of me? This is the Bakery department. WTF do you think we sell, soap??!!

2. Did you bake today?

~ Again, are you f-ing making fun of me??!!

3. Do you have a cake counter?

~ Considering that you are standing right in front of it, yes, moron!!!

4. Is your fresh bread hot?

~ Yes, somehow it stays nice and hot all day long. Uh, no, stupid!!

5. Will you be baking hot bread on Christmas Day?

~ Oh, yes, just for you. NOT!!!!! We will be eating Christmas dinner with our families while you stand outside like the stupid idiot that you are waiting for God knows what!!

6. Do you slice baguettes?

~ FOR THE MILLIONTH BLOODY TIME, NOOOOOOO!!!! BUY A KNIFE, DAMN IT!!!

7. What time do you open on New Years Day?

~ OMG, seriously?? HAHAHAHA??? WTF is wrong with you??!!!

8. Can I have 200 grams of ham?

~ Sure, and would you like a cheesecake to go with that?? Wrong department, dumba**!!

9. Do you sell wedding cakes?

~ Look, I know Christmas time is stressful, but you really need to stop sniffing pine scented Glade so you can think straight. I mean, for the love of God, does it look like we make wedding cakes??

10. Where can I find sliced bread?

~ Really?? Seriously, really?? LenseCrafters, idiot!! GET SOME GLASSES!!


- JB

16 comments:

  1. You missed A LOT! Like the WHOLE Ryan situation and being abused...TONS!!

    Email me:

    Cutelildreamer@msn.com

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  2. gotta have them to break the boredom... 'kay, got it, won't ever ask questions like those ;). nice to see you too, and have a splendid 2012 yourself!!!

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  3. LOL I used to work in a bakery when I was in high school. Out of the year or so that I worked there I only dropped ONE cake. Of course it was the one with the several layers of fresh fruit on and in it. Hit the counter and slid down. Awesome!

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  4. Ha Ha Ha!!! Love it!!! Welcome back. Glad to see you still love your job (btw - probably as much as I love mine).

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  5. I have no idea why people would buy a baguette and then ask for it to be sliced. There are only a few rules in life, and that's one of them.

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  6. @Stefanie missed you guys a lot. I figured it was time to start writing and work has really started to get to me so I need to vent. I hope you had a good holiday season.

    Huggs
    JB

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  7. @Shadow I hope you have a good 2012 also. happy to be back now I just have to focus on how angry my customers have made me and make you guys giggle.

    Huggs
    JB

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  8. @Julie I've droped a few cakes myself and my fave drop was right in the garbage in front of a customer...lolol. Hope you had a good holiday season and things are well for you.

    Huggs
    JB

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  9. @Travel maybe we need to compare notes on who loves they're job the most...lolol. Glad to be back and I'm humbled you guys stuck around. Thanks to Eddy who's the best wing person you can have around...Eddy has my back thank god!!!

    Huggs
    JB

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  10. @Just Me belive when I tell you that I get asked at least 20 times a day and one i will scream at someone buy a effing knife god damn it!!! and get fired actually not people don't get fired at my store. The only way to get fired is to either steal or punch someone in the face and both has happened while I was working...lololol. I LOVE MY JOB thanks for coming by and leaving a comment.

    Huggs
    JB

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  11. no one asked you for hamburgers? xD just kiding!

    we all have that silly list that we don't give a s*** the rest of the year but honestly who cares?? I kinda change my mind about what I want my life to give in terms of priorities... that's the only good think of that list: you can fill it up to 12 wishes!! xD

    Have a great 2012, kisses

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  12. @Jusefina thanks for stopping in and leaving a comment. Have a great 2012 also.

    Huggs
    JB

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  13. Welcome back, baby! Glad some things never change. :-)

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  14. @ Chrissy thank god people keep doing it to me so I have something to vent about. Feels good to be back and thanks for stopping in. Hope your doing well.

    Huggs
    Jb

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  15. 200 grams of ham? What is that - a drug deal?

    Man, I think if I heard that stuff all day long I'd end up in jail the first day.

    Happy New Year to you - so good to connect!

    XO

    Anna

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  16. @Anna

    No, but perhaps a drug deal would be refreshing...

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Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. Check back for my response and/or Eddy's. We love hearing from you! Peace, JB (blog owner) and Eddy ("super great cuz" & frequent guest blogger)

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