Happy 2012, everybody!!
Did any of you make New Year's resolutions? I think most people do, but it's sticking to them that's the tricky part. We start out with good intentions, then life happens, and suddenly we're back into the same old routine again. Oh, well... :)
So, in my last post I mentioned that I was going to put together a list of stupid questions that customers dared to ask me during the holidays. There were a whole bunch of them, but I'm only going to list ten and ask that you promise never to ask your local Bakery clerk these questions, ever.
1. Do you sell bread?
~ Are you f-ing making fun of me? This is the Bakery department. WTF do you think we sell, soap??!!
2. Did you bake today?
~ Again, are you f-ing making fun of me??!!
3. Do you have a cake counter?
~ Considering that you are standing right in front of it, yes, moron!!!
4. Is your fresh bread hot?
~ Yes, somehow it stays nice and hot all day long. Uh, no, stupid!!
5. Will you be baking hot bread on Christmas Day?
~ Oh, yes, just for you. NOT!!!!! We will be eating Christmas dinner with our families while you stand outside like the stupid idiot that you are waiting for God knows what!!
6. Do you slice baguettes?
~ FOR THE MILLIONTH BLOODY TIME, NOOOOOOO!!!! BUY A KNIFE, DAMN IT!!!
7. What time do you open on New Years Day?
~ OMG, seriously?? HAHAHAHA??? WTF is wrong with you??!!!
8. Can I have 200 grams of ham?
~ Sure, and would you like a cheesecake to go with that?? Wrong department, dumba**!!
9. Do you sell wedding cakes?
~ Look, I know Christmas time is stressful, but you really need to stop sniffing pine scented Glade so you can think straight. I mean, for the love of God, does it look like we make wedding cakes??
10. Where can I find sliced bread?
~ Really?? Seriously, really?? LenseCrafters, idiot!! GET SOME GLASSES!!