Last week a new guy and girl were hired to work in the bakery. This was good news because there's always a ton of stuff to do, and I'd been asking for more employees since I started my new position. The girl came in for training first, but I wasn't working because it was my day off. The next day, however, Power Ranger and Superstar (nicknames I gave two of the students who work with me) couldn't wait to tell me all about her the second I set foot inside the bakery.
PwrRngr: OMG, thank God you're back!!
Me: Why? You guys miss me?
PwrRngr: You won't believe what the new girl did yesterday?
Me: Please, do tell.
Superstar: No, really, you're not going to believe it.
Me: Just hurry up and tell me because I have a lot of cakes to make.
Superstar: Well, I was making flans & parfaits for you because Lazy McLazy (my manager's nickname because she literally does f**k all at work) wouldn't help us, and in walks the new girl.
Superstar: She saw the strawberries I was using to decorate the flans and she totally freaked out.
Me: What? Why?
Superstar: She said, "OMG, are those strawberries?? Can I have one??? I want to eat it on my break!!" I told her no, we're not allowed to eat the food, but she found herself a really big one and took it anyway.
Superstar: Then, she put it on her head.
Me: Excuse me?
Superstar: She put it on her head.
Me: (WTF?) Are you two messing with me?
PwrRngr: No, she kept it on her head the whole time she was doing her work.
Me: (again, WTF?) How did she even get it to stay on her head?
PwrRngr: I don't know, but she did. I swear to God, JB! She stood in the corner singing to herself and packing cookies for over an hour with the strawberry on her head.
Me: (who does she think she is, Strawberry freakin' Shortcake?) Didn't anyone tell her to take it off her head?
Superstar: No, we wanted her to get in trouble. She's nuts.
Me: I see. So, is that all?
PwrRngr: No, after she finished with the cookies, she looked at both of us, did a pirouette, and then danced her way to the lunch room to eat her strawberry.
Me: (clearing my throat) A pirouette?
PwrRngr: Uh huh.
Superstar: I'm telling you, JB, she's nuts.
Me: (yup, so far, so nutty) Is she working today?
Superstar: No, thank God.
PwrRngr: Yeah, she scares me.
Me: OK, enough about the new girl, let's get to work.
The new guy better f**king be normal.