It's been a week now since the New Girl started working with us, and all I can say is she's really special. I mean it, this girl has to be one of the most special people I have ever met. She's also going to be the death of me. I thought it was going to be cakes, but this girl is killing me slowly with her specialness. On my first day working with her, she was assigned "the breakout" (i.e. prep work for the next days bake), and managed to injure herself before she even got started. I was going on my dinner break at the time, so that meant I was going to be leaving her alone (not a good idea, as I have learned) for a little while.
Me: I'm going to eat now. You should have a good start on the breakout by the time I get back.
New Girl: (looking at the breakout list) The breakout is really big. I mean, look at all of this bread. There are 4 or 5 kinds!
Me: Yeah, there’s a lot to do, but you should be able to finish it all by the time your shift is over.
New Girl: I actually don’t like doing it.
Me: (too bad, so sad) I know it's not exactly fun, but it has to be done.
New Girl: But I...
Me: (calm, JB, calm) I'll be back soon.
Before she could say another word, I turned away from her and took off for the lunchroom. When I got there, the night manager was seated at the table.
Night Mngr: Hi, JB, how's it going?
Me: Good, but what's with teenagers these days?
Night Mngr: Beats the sh*t out of me.
Me: (pulling out a chair to sit down) Man, that new girl is something else. She…
Suddenly, the store speaker crackled, and then we heard: Manager to the bakery, please. Manager to the bakery, please.
Night Mngr: (looking at me) Didn't you just leave there only two minutes ago?
Me: (f**king New Girl!!!!!!!!) I'll be right back.
Off I went to the bakery. When I walked in, there was the New Girl with a hand over her mouth.
Me: (God, what now?) You paged me?
New Girl: (sulking) Yeah, I'm bleeding.
Me: What? Where?
New Girl: My mouth. Look (pulling down her bottom lip to show me the inside), right here.
Me: (wtf, did she seriously call me back here for this?) How did you do that?
New Girl: I hit myself in the face with a pan.
Me: (WTF?) You what?? How?
New Girl: When I pulled the pan out, it slipped in my hand and hit me.
Me: (she hit herself with the pan... hahahahaa!!) OK, so you called me here because you bit your lip when you hit yourself?
New Girl: (totally serious) I need to file an accident report. I'm bleeding and the nerve in my tooth could die!
Me: (Holy God in Heaven, are you f**king kidding me??) You just bit your lip. You'll be OK.
New Girl: (pulling down her lip again) Look, JB, it's swollen.
Me: (it will be if I get my hands on you) Nah, it's not that bad.
New Girl: But…
Me: I'm going back to my dinner now. Finish the breakout (before I f**king grab that pan and beat you with it), and be careful.
Back in the lunchroom, I told the night manager all about New Girl's pan(ic) attack, and the poor woman just about choked on her meal because she was laughing so hard.
Me: I think this chick just might be the death of me.
Night Mngr: If she doesn't kill herself first. Hahahahaha!!!!
Me: Yeah, seriously.
I mean, better her than me, right?