Last week a new guy and girl were hired to work in the bakery. This was good news because there's always a ton of stuff to do, and I'd been asking for more employees since I started my new position. The girl came in for training first, but I wasn't working because it was my day off. The next day, however, Power Ranger and Superstar (nicknames I gave two of the students who work with me) couldn't wait to tell me all about her the second I set foot inside the bakery.PwrRngr: OMG, thank God you're back!!
Me: Why? You guys miss me?
PwrRngr: You won't believe what the new girl did yesterday?
Me: Please, do tell.
Superstar: No, really, you're not going to believe it.
Me: Just hurry up and tell me because I have a lot of cakes to make.
Superstar: Well, I was making flans & parfaits for you because Lazy McLazy (my manager's nickname because she literally does f**k all at work) wouldn't help us, and in walks the new girl.
Me: And?
Superstar: She saw the strawberries I was using to decorate the flans and she totally freaked out.
Me: What? Why?
Superstar: She said, "OMG, are those strawberries?? Can I have one??? I want to eat it on my break!!" I told her no, we're not allowed to eat the food, but she found herself a really big one and took it anyway.
Me: OK.
Superstar: Then, she put it on her head.
Me: Excuse me?
Superstar: She put it on her head.
Me: (WTF?) Are you two messing with me?
PwrRngr: No, she kept it on her head the whole time she was doing her work.
Me: (again, WTF?) How did she even get it to stay on her head?
PwrRngr: I don't know, but she did. I swear to God, JB! She stood in the corner singing to herself and packing cookies for over an hour with the strawberry on her head.
Me: (who does she think she is, Strawberry freakin' Shortcake?) Didn't anyone tell her to take it off her head?
Superstar: No, we wanted her to get in trouble. She's nuts.
Me: I see. So, is that all?
PwrRngr: No, after she finished with the cookies, she looked at both of us, did a pirouette, and then danced her way to the lunch room to eat her strawberry.
Me: (clearing my throat) A pirouette?
PwrRngr: Uh huh.
Superstar: I'm telling you, JB, she's nuts.
Me: (yup, so far, so nutty) Is she working today?
Superstar: No, thank God.
PwrRngr: Yeah, she scares me.
Me: OK, enough about the new girl, let's get to work.
The new guy better f**king be normal.
JB
She doesn't freak me out. We need to toughin up these kids. If she crawled under the table and barked like a dog.... then you would need to worry.
ReplyDelete...yep I teach. I have seen way worst than a strawberry on the head.
JB...sayin this again and again.. WRITE A BOOK with full of your experience!!
ReplyDeleteI mean you Stufff is woooooowwww! :)
JB, this is such a gem! Lol, your stories would definately make a great book :-)
ReplyDeletelol...she was probably totally stoned. What a nut job. At least it gives you something cool to talk about.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like she is working on her posture. Is she a ballerina moonlighting as a baker? Is she a model working on her runway walk? Is she practicing up for the next season of Charm School?
ReplyDeleteOr maybe she's just a nutcase that likes to balance strawberries on her head?
She must have extrememly good balance. A strawberry. On her head. The whole day?
ReplyDeleteAmazing.
I wonder what her last job was?!
:-)
@Eileen....yup I'd worry for sure if she started to bark but does singing show tunes in the freezer count as barking....there's more. As for tough in up the kids I'm on it all the time. I validate them and give them guidance but this one has me stumped....lolol.
ReplyDeletehuggs
jbxoxo
@Indi....thanks love your so sweet but I don't know if it's book stuff. Yeah, it's funny but it's the people that make it work. Maybe someday I will...who knows.
ReplyDeletelove you
jbxoxo
@Libertine....thanks a lot. Like I said to Indi, it would be fun. This new girl is a little gem herself.
ReplyDeletelove
jbxo
@Lin...nope she doesn't do drugs this is all natural...lol. She's a real quirky little kitten.
ReplyDeleteHuggs
jbxoxo
@Bard...she's just a nutcase that likes to balance strawberries on her head and sing show tunes in the freezer while getting the bread ready for the next days bake lololol....oh!!!!there's more your going to have stay tuned.
ReplyDeletehuggs
jbxo
@f8hasit....I will find out for you I promise. Have a good one and thanks for coming by and commenting.
ReplyDeletehuggs
jbxo
I don't know, maybe it's just me, but sometimes I too have thoughts and feelings that can only be expressed in dance and the precarious placement of berries and other foodstuffs.
ReplyDeleteWhy, just the other day I was expressing my opinion about the latest Harry Potter film to my wife with a short pop-and-lock routine and a Toblerone taped to my... nevermind.
@chris...that's the spirit man go with it no matter where it takes you and who gets to eat it in this case your lovely wife......try berries next time. Oh!!! thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
ReplyDeletehuggs
jbxo
I like her already. She's crazy like a fox. Well, crazy like some kind of animal that acts crazy so she can get free strawberries.
ReplyDeleteThat is hysterical :) Seriously though, how did she get the strawberry to stay on her head all that time?
ReplyDeletehilariously written!
ReplyDeleteAre they sure she didn't have the strawberry attached with a stick pin?
ReplyDeleteWTF!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnna
xxxxxxx
Thank you JB for saying such awesome things about me on your page :) It's really like this circle of connection and inspiration here, isn't it...
ReplyDelete@John...she's WTF!!!! all the way to the lunchroom.
ReplyDelete@Pictures....I have no idea and neither does anyone else it just stayed on her head and I'm still floored by it.
@Darcy...thanks but she makes it funny.
@Chrissy...NO!!! she is just very freaking talented. She's got to have a flat head.
@Anna....WTF!!!!! for freaking sure. God I love my bakery pets so much. xoxoxo
Maggie May your very welcome. The words came from my heart. Thank-you for the great writing and the inspiration love.
ReplyDeleteWith Great Affection
jbxoxo
- Doctor, Doctor, can you give me something for this strawberry on my head?
ReplyDelete- Try putting some cream on it.
[Thank you. I'll be here all week...]