Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My Mother Is An EV!!

I’d like to preface this by saying that I love my mother. I really, really do, but the woman is an EV to the max. Only, she doesn't just complain, she asks you to do things & then proceeds to nag you until those things are done. As I said in last Friday's post, she has zero patience, and from the moment I walked into work today, she was on me like a fly on sh*t. I swear, even a fly gives up after a while, but not this woman. If only I had this 19th century vampire killing kit. God knows I could use one...

Mother: JB, I want you to take me to the bank.

Me: Ma, we are in the middle of lunch service.

Mother: It’s OK, your sister is here.

Me: But what if she gets salad orders? She can’t watch the stove & make salads at the same time.

Mother: I don’t care. I need to go to the bank.

Me: Please, let’s just wait until lunch is over. We can go at 2pm.

Clearly, that was not the response she was looking for because she gave me this look of pure evil. I think I saw blood forming in the corners of her eyes. I think in that moment of silence, she was summoning her evil army of minions to attack me from behind.

Mother: No!

Me: OK, OK.

I’ll do whatever you want, just take you fangs out of my neck, I thought to myself. (As if I would say that directly to her. I do value my life, you know.)

So, off we went to the bank. Actually, make that the banks because she had to go to all off them. Why, I have no clue. I’m on a need-to-know basis when it comes to her, so I didn't bother to ask.

After all the banking, it was back to work, and I went straight to my office to make a few calls. I was on the phone for about a minute, when I suddenly heard my mother coming (she was yelling) in my direction. I asked the person I was speaking with to hold the line for a moment.

Mother: You finish with the phone yet? I need it.

Me: What do you mean? I asked you in the car if you were going to need the phone when we got back here and you said no.

She didn't even answer. Instead, she proceeded to busy herself by going through some papers on my desk.

Me: Ma, are you looking for that invoice that you were telling me about? I will find it for you as soon as I’m done.

Mother: I want it now & I need the phone.

OH---MY---GOD!!! I was about to pop a blood vessel in my head. She literally stood there while I told the person on the line that I would have to call them back.

Mother: Finally. I use the phone now.

No sh*t, you EV, you sucker of my last drop of blood, I thought to myself, and it’s not even Friday. ~ sigh ~

Mother: Oh, and don’t forget to make the changes for the bills on the internet for me. I ask you for that since Monday.

Me: Excuse me, ma, but today’s only Tuesday. I’m going to do it, OK? Didn't I do all that other stuff for you?

Mother: You’re supposed to do it for me, I’m your mother.

Me: Right. Well, I hope you don’t need anymore blood from me today because I’m tapped out.

Uh oh, there was that look of pure evil again. Time to shut up before it’s too late, I thought to myself, and quickly found her the invoice she wanted. She took it and was gone, but not for long.

Mother: You did what I asked you?

Somebody save me!



  1. So funny! My mom can be a bit like this and my mother-in-law also. So I'm surrounded!!

    I now find my daughter rolling her eyes when I ask (nag) her to brush her teeth.

    I wonder, am I going over to the dark side? Am I becoming them?

    Peace - Rene

  2. Babe, I m all the way across in India, and your mum sounds like my mom too....
    so, they are all the same I guess..!
    We hate them, we love them but we cant get rid of them can we?
    I just hope I dun turn into that kinda mom!!

  3. Thanks girls, all mothers mean well. Sometimes they just go a little over board as you can see.


  4. JB, I think you meant to say:

    "All mothers (are) well mean".

    I might be wrong though. ;)

  5. Thanks for you comment on my recent post. I didnt know how else to get in touch, hence just writin here..you may delete this once you read.
    I read wat you wrote and its true.. only I can say sorry and fix this, and I dun have any "ego issues" ...not with him. I care too much. So I sent him a text message with a sincere sorry and just as expected havent recieved any reply yet.
    Truly, now all I can do is wait.
    I have dun the worst I could have...right?
    I doubt things will be ok again.. but I wanna believe that they will be..
    Thanks again, for your kind thoughts.
    Appreciate it

  6. Wow, I can't believe you tolearte all that sh*t. I'm usually pretty placid, but I'd climb right out of my tree if my mother tried half of that; fortunately she doesn't.


  7. thanks for reading my blog =) And I love that celine dion song on your playlist by the way =)

  8. This is why I do whatever I can NOT to work with my father. I guess he feels hurt and disappointed. God knows he needs all help he can get, but I know it will never work out, because he just has to be right, he has to be in control of everything. I can't be productive this way. It doesn't matter if he works alone, with me, with my brother or the three of us together - the workload we do is the same.

  9. Greyer you are so right. I guess I just take it for what it is. I look at my mom and see a beautiful women who has given me all she can. This is what she knows and I'm gratful. I don't want it to come to me in this form but it does so be it. I love her for all her imperfections. I also love her as a women and a mother.

    Thanks for stopping by, I hope you read more.


  10. You definitely need saving! My mom used to get me in the car to run "just one errand" and then hold me hostage while she went to twelve other places. Don't miss that at all!


Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. Check back for my response and/or Eddy's. We love hearing from you! Peace, JB (blog owner) and Eddy ("super great cuz" & frequent guest blogger)

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