Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Hate Inside

I was going through my journal and found something that I wrote back in July of this year. As you're about to discover, I was in a very dark place at the time, so covered in hate that I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. Now, three months later, a lot of that hate has been neutralized by love, which always comes in to remind me that it’s important to remember the good times.



The Hate Inside

My body is infested with hate,
Hate that came to me one cold December,
In the form of a woman
Disguised as love
She introduced hate to me slowly,
Lying to me,
But calling it love
Words of hate came from her lips,
Entered my ears,
And left their scars

I was once a kind soul,
Full of love, compassion, joy,
But hate drew me in, saying:
Let me release you
Let me give you some reprieve
Feel the hate
It will set you free
I said: No, I am a good person
Hate said: No, you're not

I tried to bury hate,
But hate came back,
Blanketed my very being,
And devoured the love I once had
Now, I need to hate,
Or I will die from hurt,
From heartbreak

I wake to hate
I bath in hate
I seep with hate
I relish the hate
I can’t breathe without hate

Hate made my skin dry
Hate made my bones ache
Hate turned my blood into poison

My eyes went black from hate
My hands only feel hate
My legs are the anchors of hate

My heart is the sewage system of hate,
Poisoning me slowly
With the venom it pumps out

Until all is settled,
Until I no longer need her hateful grasp on me,
Until hate finally drains
From the last drop of my black blood,
I will return hate to its rightful owner,
My beloved,
On a cold winter’s night

© 2008 JB. All rights reserved.

1 comment:

  1. sometimes hate is what we need in order to survive, stay afloat. as long as you know when to put it away and carry on living, so's it doesn't devour you too, you'll do good. but, you said it a lot better than this. well done!


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