Training Day: JB Meets CN

Did any of you ever watch the TV show Seinfeld? If yes, do you remember the Soup Nazi character? Well, did you know that there's also a Cake Nazi out there? Oh, yeah, my friends, I'm for real, and she's was the bane of my existence for weeks. You see, when I was training for my new position, she was the one cracking the spatula. I didn't have time to blog about her then, but I made notes in my journal during my breaks, so I'm ready to tell you all about her now.

Cake Nazi (aka CN) and I met on a Tuesday. I was ready to get started with my training, but definitely not ready for the woman who was about to arrive. She came in from the entrance behind me, so I had to turn around to greet her. When I did, there was this larger than life woman with a super straight bang that just about took out my eyes

Me: (Holy God in heaven, are you kidding me?) Uh, hi, I'm JB.

CN: (without a hint of politeness) Who are you?

Me: I'm JB, you're supposed to train me.

CN: Who are you?

Me: (how the h*ll can't she hear me when she's so close I can almost french kiss her?) I'm JB. I'm going to be training with you for the next 10 weeks. I was told you're the best.

CN: Great, just what I need, yet another untrained cake person. Who are you again?

Me: (what is this, some bizarre form of intimidation?) Like I said, I'm JB.

CN: Why are you on training in the first place?

Me: (is she dense?) I'm here because I can't make cakes.

CN: What? You've never worked in a bakery at all?

Me: No.

CN: This is a serious job. Can you flat ice, make roses on cakes, use the airgun, mix the icing? Can you do any of that?

Me: Flat ice??

CN: (looking at me with an evil glare) Go over there and grab the cupcakes... all three boxes... ice them, roll them, put the toys on them, and then go get a box of slabs and we'll flat ice for the rest of the day. And, JB, don't think I won't watch you.

Me: (nothing, just trying to register everything that she just said)

CN: Well, are you just going to stand there looking at me?

Me: Uh, no, I... cupcakes... I'm on it... them... going now... (holy crap, I'm training with a Cake Nazi!!)

CN: This is going to be more painful for you than it is for me, JB.

Me: (just don't sit on me, lady, please) I'll just go over there (the far side of the prep table), and start on those cupcakes.

Off I went to my little corner of the table and made freaking cupcakes for a good 4 hours. I swear I made 500 of them. Then, for the next 6 hours, I flat iced 16 1/4 slabs for birthday cakes. CN observed me all day, but didn't say a word. When it was time for me to head home, I said bye to her, but she didn't say anything back. These next 10 weeks are going to be some of the longest of my life, I thought to myself. The woman is going to try to break me down until I cry for mercy. Yeah, right!!! CN has no idea that I've spent practically my whole life working with my mother, and if my ma can't break me, no one can.

JB