Did any of you ever watch the TV show Seinfeld? If yes, do you remember the Soup Nazi character? Well, did you know that there's also a Cake Nazi out there? Oh, yeah, my friends, I'm for real, and she's was the bane of my existence for weeks. You see, when I was training for my new position, she was the one cracking the spatula. I didn't have time to blog about her then, but I made notes in my journal during my breaks, so I'm ready to tell you all about her now.
Cake Nazi (aka CN) and I met on a Tuesday. I was ready to get started with my training, but definitely not ready for the woman who was about to arrive. She came in from the entrance behind me, so I had to turn around to greet her. When I did, there was this larger than life woman with a super straight bang that just about took out my eyes
Me: (Holy God in heaven, are you kidding me?) Uh, hi, I'm JB.
CN: (without a hint of politeness) Who are you?
Me: I'm JB, you're supposed to train me.
CN: Who are you?
Me: (how the h*ll can't she hear me when she's so close I can almost french kiss her?) I'm JB. I'm going to be training with you for the next 10 weeks. I was told you're the best.
CN: Great, just what I need, yet another untrained cake person. Who are you again?
Me: (what is this, some bizarre form of intimidation?) Like I said, I'm JB.
CN: Why are you on training in the first place?
Me: (is she dense?) I'm here because I can't make cakes.
CN: What? You've never worked in a bakery at all?
CN: This is a serious job. Can you flat ice, make roses on cakes, use the airgun, mix the icing? Can you do any of that?
Me: Flat ice??
CN: (looking at me with an evil glare) Go over there and grab the cupcakes... all three boxes... ice them, roll them, put the toys on them, and then go get a box of slabs and we'll flat ice for the rest of the day. And, JB, don't think I won't watch you.
Me: (nothing, just trying to register everything that she just said)
CN: Well, are you just going to stand there looking at me?
Me: Uh, no, I... cupcakes... I'm on it... them... going now... (holy crap, I'm training with a Cake Nazi!!)
CN: This is going to be more painful for you than it is for me, JB.
Me: (just don't sit on me, lady, please) I'll just go over there (the far side of the prep table), and start on those cupcakes.
Off I went to my little corner of the table and made freaking cupcakes for a good 4 hours. I swear I made 500 of them. Then, for the next 6 hours, I flat iced 16 1/4 slabs for birthday cakes. CN observed me all day, but didn't say a word. When it was time for me to head home, I said bye to her, but she didn't say anything back. These next 10 weeks are going to be some of the longest of my life, I thought to myself. The woman is going to try to break me down until I cry for mercy. Yeah, right!!! CN has no idea that I've spent practically my whole life working with my mother, and if my ma can't break me, no one can.