"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
People do all sorts of things to avoid the truth. They lie, cheat, steal, kill, and just plain run as far as they can from it. The question that's been on my mind for about three days now is why do people lie? If anyone can answer this for me, I'd really like to know. These last two years of my life were turned upside down because two people that I trusted and called friends wove a web of lies so thick that I'm still uncovering all the layers.
Why do people lie? It’s bothering me so much. I can’t understand why it’s so hard to just be honest. Seriously, people, just be honest. It takes less effort to tell the truth than it does to lie because, when you lie once, you usually have to keep on lying in order to cover up the fact that you lied in the first place. Sometimes, you lie so much that you actually start believing that the lies are truth. How can this be right!? Why lie, why?
I have experienced first hand what lies can do. The saddest part is that the lies not only affected me, but also all of my friends and family on both sides of the lies. So, you see how when people assume it’s alright to lie how it can ripple through everything? It makes me sad that people don’t look at the big picture. If only they had the courage to be honest, but I guess that's just wishful thinking.
To all of you liars out there, maybe it’s time you start to right all the wrongs that you imposed on the people you hurt because they sure as h*ll weren't asking for the pain you caused. I guess to right your wrongs you would have to grow a spine because most of you are too spineless to face what you have done. You can keep living your lies, but in the end know that you will end up alone with only your lies to comfort you in the dark.
JB
Showing posts with label lies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lies. Show all posts
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Testimony: A Follow Up
It's been about a week now since I received the "testimony" e-mail from HWSNBN, and I still have indigestion from trying to stomach his bullsh*t. In light of a recent conversation I had with my Ex, it's pretty obvious to me that HWSNBN didn't send me his “testimony” because he feels remorseful. Rather, it's a way for him to use me for his own selfish reasons again. In a nutshell, it looks like HWSNBN is about to experience the same kind of train wreck my life turned into when my Ex decided she wanted to experience a man (but all she got was a boy). You see, HWSNBN has fallen head over heels in love with my Ex, but she hasn't fallen head over heels for him. Turns out she finally realized that he's not me, and she can't love him like she loved (or still loves) me. What we gave each other, he can only dream of having with her.
Ah, HWSNBN, this is your life. Are you happy, and was it all worth it for the both of you? Are you enjoying the relationship that you two created out of lies and blatant disregard for the person (i.e. me) who loved you both? Well, this is what you two get for settling for half lives. My life with her was passion, joy, fire, desire, and unconditional love for each other. Is this yours? I think not! If it was, I would not have received your bullsh*t “testimony” & she wouldn’t be crying over the mess you two made. Good luck with your relationship with someone who does not love you and never will. I hope you set her free so she can pursue real love because eventually you two will only drown in your lie.
This is my testimony.
JB
Ah, HWSNBN, this is your life. Are you happy, and was it all worth it for the both of you? Are you enjoying the relationship that you two created out of lies and blatant disregard for the person (i.e. me) who loved you both? Well, this is what you two get for settling for half lives. My life with her was passion, joy, fire, desire, and unconditional love for each other. Is this yours? I think not! If it was, I would not have received your bullsh*t “testimony” & she wouldn’t be crying over the mess you two made. Good luck with your relationship with someone who does not love you and never will. I hope you set her free so she can pursue real love because eventually you two will only drown in your lie.
This is my testimony.
JB
Sunday, August 24, 2008
From Best Friend To Ex Friend (aka, HWSNBN)
As I have already posted in previous blogs, my Ex & once-upon-a-time best friend (who I now refer to as HWSNBN, which is short for 'He Who Shall Not Be Named' --- all you Harry Potter fans know where I'm coming from), slept together behind my back, and neither of them had the guts to tell me, until my Ex supposedly came clean about the whole thing. I say supposedly came clean because they actually continued to perpetuate the lie for another six months. The full story only just unfolded this past week. Anyway...
HWSNBN has not told (or will ever tell) me the truth because he simply doesn't have the moral capacity to face me. How could he? HWSNBN spent the last year and half hanging out with me, working with me, (yeah, we worked together too), and being my confidant. I told him everything about my Ex. Everything, including the intimate stuff because he had little, if any, experience with women, and he was really taken by my experiences. Now I really understand why the cruel little boy was so interested.
I think about all those times that we sat and talked about my Ex, me crying about how upset I was, professing my love for her, and him listening & comforting me. Little did I know he would then go home & sleep with her. All those times he told me to get over her, forget her, and how she was this & that (he used harsh, degrading words to describe her), it was just for show. He had both my Ex & I confiding in him, and he used facts from both sides of the story to drive an even deeper wedge between me & my Ex. He made it seem like neither one of us wanted anything to do with the other.
HWSNBN was my best friend & I loved him like a brother, but he did something so cruel to me to get what he wanted. There was one thing that he didn't consider, though. He didn't think that maybe the 16 years that my Ex and I shared were important enough for her & I to get past what happened. Since she told me the whole truth, it turns out that those years are important enough.
HWSNBN played me when I was at the weakest moment in my life. He told me he cared for me, loved me, and would be there to help me pick up the pieces. Oh, he picked up the pieces alright, but only to turn around and use them to build his house of lies at my expense. (Shame on you, HWSNBN, shame!) Well, he better enjoy it while he can because it likely won't last for much longer. I used to tell HWSNBN that one day he would see what it was like to be in my shoes. I never knew that he wanted to be in them so badly. Guess I was wrong. Instead of finding a straight girl, he found himself in bed with my gay/bi ex. How strange life is. I guess being a 24 old boy dating a 37 old cougar has its benefits. Demi and Aston are going to be jealous of them. I guess this make HWSNBN a lesbian by default.
JB
HWSNBN has not told (or will ever tell) me the truth because he simply doesn't have the moral capacity to face me. How could he? HWSNBN spent the last year and half hanging out with me, working with me, (yeah, we worked together too), and being my confidant. I told him everything about my Ex. Everything, including the intimate stuff because he had little, if any, experience with women, and he was really taken by my experiences. Now I really understand why the cruel little boy was so interested.
I think about all those times that we sat and talked about my Ex, me crying about how upset I was, professing my love for her, and him listening & comforting me. Little did I know he would then go home & sleep with her. All those times he told me to get over her, forget her, and how she was this & that (he used harsh, degrading words to describe her), it was just for show. He had both my Ex & I confiding in him, and he used facts from both sides of the story to drive an even deeper wedge between me & my Ex. He made it seem like neither one of us wanted anything to do with the other.
HWSNBN was my best friend & I loved him like a brother, but he did something so cruel to me to get what he wanted. There was one thing that he didn't consider, though. He didn't think that maybe the 16 years that my Ex and I shared were important enough for her & I to get past what happened. Since she told me the whole truth, it turns out that those years are important enough.
HWSNBN played me when I was at the weakest moment in my life. He told me he cared for me, loved me, and would be there to help me pick up the pieces. Oh, he picked up the pieces alright, but only to turn around and use them to build his house of lies at my expense. (Shame on you, HWSNBN, shame!) Well, he better enjoy it while he can because it likely won't last for much longer. I used to tell HWSNBN that one day he would see what it was like to be in my shoes. I never knew that he wanted to be in them so badly. Guess I was wrong. Instead of finding a straight girl, he found himself in bed with my gay/bi ex. How strange life is. I guess being a 24 old boy dating a 37 old cougar has its benefits. Demi and Aston are going to be jealous of them. I guess this make HWSNBN a lesbian by default.
JB
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Cotton Candy, Candy Apples, and Meow Meow
So, the Ex and I may have put some of our differences aside for the time being. I don't know if this will work out in any way, shape, or form, but I finally got an "I'm really sorry for all the bad things I have done to you over the last three years... I can't believe I treated you so badly, and I'm so, so sorry" from her. Better late than never, I guess. Or, maybe it's only because she has something else planned for me??? Being the skeptic that I am, I will continue to wear my full metal jacket (not the Stanley Kubrick movie Full Metal Jacket, good movie, by the way) just for sh*ts and giggles because six months ago (when I thought she was being nice) she only took the knife out of my back to turn around and plunge it into my chest. Talk about getting my signals crossed.
Anyway... I have planned a lovely afternoon for the both of us. As a surprise, I will be taking her to the local fair for some of what she loves most -- cotton candy and candy apples. If all goes well with kitten (hence the Meow Meow part of today's blog title), we will giggle like we did in the good old days, gossip about Brad, Angie, and the kids, who's wearing what in US and People magazine, Miss Sixty & all the fashionista stuff that we both love, and maybe somewhere along the way, she'll tell me why she (the 30-something cougar) is going to by a house with her little (barely 20-something) boy.
I guess now that she's made this huge life choice that she's the women that she's always wanted to be, she needs more in her life than ever before. Too bad it took two years & six months after the fact for all of this to transpire. I wonder what the real reasons are for this incredible turn of events. Why now? Why so soon after shoving our friendship and the love we had aside for three years? Oh, cotton candy, candy apples, and meow meow --- so sweet.
JB
Anyway... I have planned a lovely afternoon for the both of us. As a surprise, I will be taking her to the local fair for some of what she loves most -- cotton candy and candy apples. If all goes well with kitten (hence the Meow Meow part of today's blog title), we will giggle like we did in the good old days, gossip about Brad, Angie, and the kids, who's wearing what in US and People magazine, Miss Sixty & all the fashionista stuff that we both love, and maybe somewhere along the way, she'll tell me why she (the 30-something cougar) is going to by a house with her little (barely 20-something) boy.
I guess now that she's made this huge life choice that she's the women that she's always wanted to be, she needs more in her life than ever before. Too bad it took two years & six months after the fact for all of this to transpire. I wonder what the real reasons are for this incredible turn of events. Why now? Why so soon after shoving our friendship and the love we had aside for three years? Oh, cotton candy, candy apples, and meow meow --- so sweet.
JB
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