Food for Thought: Walk Away or Try Harder

Hi All,

Back in July I wrote about how I sometimes find it difficult letting those I care about learn lessons on their own. I'm experiencing this again as of late. I have a family member who is particularly stubborn and just can't seem grasp that change is required if change is desired. Hmm, I'm a poet and didn't know it. LOL Seriously, though, I am at the point where I don't know how much harder I can try to get this person to understand this concept. ~ sigh ~

There is a huge back story to all of this, but the long and the short of it is that this person has been through a lot -- emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually -- and I know it's going to take time to make changes and form new habits, but I feel like I am being used and I don't like it. On one hand, I think I have given all of the support and good advice that I can at this point and it's time to let go. On the other hand, however, I feel like I need to be more patient with this person because of the back story. ~ sigh ~

It's tough, really tough. JB and I were discussing this the other day, and she said, "Eddy, who's going to take care of you?"

Yeah, good question.

Until next time,

Eddy

Food for Thought: You Can't Avoid Destiny

Hi All,

Back in March, I mentioned a family member who has made a bunch of bad choices in life and is now paying for them in more ways than one. Today's food for thought really sums up how this individual was constantly trying everything and anything to ward off the inevitable, only to run right into it.

No doubt most of us have developed ways to avoid things we'd rather not deal with, but keep in mind that Karma will catch up eventually because every action has consequences. I've seen first hand how you'll be affected and it's not pretty, my friends, not one bit. Just think of the energy involved --- mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. How exhausting!

So, have courage. Ask for help with whatever it is that you need to face, and I guarantee help will appear if you're truly open to receiving it. After all, you're destined to deal with whatever you're avoiding, and I see no reason for you to do so alone.

Share what you think about today's food for thought by leaving a comment below.

Until next time,

Eddy

New Year's Resolutions: Food for Thought

Hi Everyone,

How's 2014 treating all of you so far? I don't know if any of you out there make New Year's resolutions, but I came across a quote just before the holidays that I really like and I think it pretty much sums up whether or not you'll be keeping your resolution in the months to come. :)

For me, the quote by Jim Rohn really hit home because I'm rather fed up with the people in my life who talk the talk, but don't walk the walk -- if you get what I mean. As JB's mom would say, "You need to figure out how you want to live your life." It's so true, don't you think?

If you're not happy, do something about it. Sure, that's so much easier said than done; believe me, I get it. I'm not saying to go at it alone, though. You'd be surprised to discover just how many people would be willing to help if you would just ask.

Anyway, enjoy the "food for thought" and stay tuned for more quotes to think about.

Until next time,

Eddy

The Journey: Starting Over

I was hanging out in the Russian’s kitchen the other day, reminiscing about what my life’s been like, and I had this moment. I came to the realization that I am a great dreamer. I think back to times in my life and I find so much awe and beauty in the memories. Sometimes they make me cry, sometimes they make me laugh out loud, and sometimes they make me long for a time I want to relive again because it was so perfectly wondrous.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but we can’t go back. We must move forward through this journey called life. We can’t choose where the road will take us or predict what we will find along the way, but we must explore.

No doubt this has been said or written by people much wiser than me. Eddy often tells me I ramble, yet she somehow knows what I’m getting at and helps me organize my thoughts on here so you guys can make sense of it all too. Anyway, I digress.

If that "a-ha" moment wasn’t enough to get me thinking, the Russian also said something that really touched me. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m looking for a new career, so when we got on to the topic of how I’ve never really done something that was 100% for me, the Russian said:

"The reason your journey was hard is because you’ve never had a support system that truly loved you and helped you achieve what you loved and believed in. Now you have a chance to take the journey again because life gives you more then one chance and we all need to take a leap of faith when it appears. This time I will come with you because I believe in you as deeply as you believe in yourself. I know that this is the right road not just for you, but for the both of us. Stop wasting time and start making the right choices for yourself and not for others."

My love! What a wise, kind and beautiful human being! Sometimes you really do need someone to make you come to your senses and remember that people start over all the time and you can too.

So, as I embark on my new journey, I keep in mind that I can make choices along the way, but I can’t control what will happen as I go. I simply must trust and go forth. Guaranteed it won’t be easy, but that’s life. I’m just grateful I won’t have to go it alone.

JB

DOMA

I don't know why, but I felt the need to get political today. Not too much, just enough to get my thoughts across. Truth is I actually don't talk politics all that much, but this has me upset.

Can someone please tell me why people are being told who to marry, who to love, who to do whatever with? Seriously, I want to know because I think that needing permission to marry someone you truly love is outrageous. I’m not writing this to get people’s undies in a knot, I just think that if I want to marry someone & have a family some day, it should be my choice… a free choice.

What do you think?

JB

Why Lie, Why?

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain

People do all sorts of things to avoid the truth. They lie, cheat, steal, kill, and just plain run as far as they can from it. The question that's been on my mind for about three days now is why do people lie? If anyone can answer this for me, I'd really like to know. These last two years of my life were turned upside down because two people that I trusted and called friends wove a web of lies so thick that I'm still uncovering all the layers.

Why do people lie? It’s bothering me so much. I can’t understand why it’s so hard to just be honest. Seriously, people, just be honest. It takes less effort to tell the truth than it does to lie because, when you lie once, you usually have to keep on lying in order to cover up the fact that you lied in the first place. Sometimes, you lie so much that you actually start believing that the lies are truth. How can this be right!? Why lie, why?

I have experienced first hand what lies can do. The saddest part is that the lies not only affected me, but also all of my friends and family on both sides of the lies. So, you see how when people assume it’s alright to lie how it can ripple through everything? It makes me sad that people don’t look at the big picture. If only they had the courage to be honest, but I guess that's just wishful thinking.

To all of you liars out there, maybe it’s time you start to right all the wrongs that you imposed on the people you hurt because they sure as h*ll weren't asking for the pain you caused. I guess to right your wrongs you would have to grow a spine because most of you are too spineless to face what you have done. You can keep living your lies, but in the end know that you will end up alone with only your lies to comfort you in the dark.

JB

Choice: My Word of the Month

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice. - George Elliot

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. - Denis Waitley

Definitions for the word 'choice' found on the Web:

- pick, selection (the person or thing chosen or selected) "he was my pick for mayor"
- selection, option, pick (the act of choosing or selecting) "your choice of colors was unfortunate"; "you can take your pick"
- alternative, choice (one of a number of things from which only one can be chosen) "what option did I have?"; "there no other alternative"; "my only choice is to refuse"
(http://wordnet.princeton.edu/)

- the act of choosing : selection
- power of choosing : option
- a number and variety to choose among
(http://www.merriam-webster.com/)


'Choice' makes for an interesting word. A simple choice could cause a wardrobe malfunction, like pairing pink shoes with a yellow top (cute if you’re two years old, but totally ridiculous if you’re an adult… my apologies in advance if this is your taste). Making a choice can also be a little more complicated, such as deciding who you’re going to vote for in this year’s election. Now, what about when it comes to making a choice for someone else? This is where things can get really tricky, especially if you don't consider the consequences or feelings of the person you are making the choice for. I should know because a handful of people made a choice for me, and it turned my life into a disaster that could have been avoided had they simply let me make my own choice.

Something to think about.

JB

For The Sake Of My Mental Health: It's Over!

It’s over, finally. I did what I have been avoiding for a long time. I cut ties with my Ex. It was time. As much as I wanted to be friends, it was never going to happen. As long as HWSNBN is in the picture, being friends won't work, not now, not ever. I mean, really, how can two people be friends when the thing that destroyed them is there as a constant reminder of the hurt, lies, betrayal, hate, and all the rest of it?

So, I composed myself, and made the call. I asked her how we could be friends when I can never go to her home and share a meal with her at her table, or just hang out and watch a movie, etc. She responded by telling me that she was living in a fantasy world, she didn't know how it would work, and that I was right. I asked her where she thought she's going to go with this whole fantasy life and how she can be so naive, but I already knew the answer to my own question. Fact is, she has always wanted what she wants, when she wants, so I didn't expect much more from her. In the end, I told her: Being friends isn't going to work, so I have to let you go. Be happy in your life, take care of yourself, and if one day you decide to do the right thing, so be it. Until then, it’s good-bye.

I feel so sad & empty today (actually, I feel kind of sick, to tell you the truth) because I have fought for this friendship for two years, not knowing I was being lied to (read my older posts for the back story) the whole time, and now I had to be the one to do the right thing. Oh well, I guess it’s for me & my mental health, and I hope it will help her figure things out for herself. This really was the only way out for both of us. I don’t want to hurt her, and I don’t want to be hurt again. I will be sad, and I will miss her, but maybe, just maybe, some good will come from all of this.

JB

Cotton Candy, Candy Apples, and Meow Meow

So, the Ex and I may have put some of our differences aside for the time being. I don't know if this will work out in any way, shape, or form, but I finally got an "I'm really sorry for all the bad things I have done to you over the last three years... I can't believe I treated you so badly, and I'm so, so sorry" from her. Better late than never, I guess. Or, maybe it's only because she has something else planned for me??? Being the skeptic that I am, I will continue to wear my full metal jacket (not the Stanley Kubrick movie Full Metal Jacket, good movie, by the way) just for sh*ts and giggles because six months ago (when I thought she was being nice) she only took the knife out of my back to turn around and plunge it into my chest. Talk about getting my signals crossed.

Anyway... I have planned a lovely afternoon for the both of us. As a surprise, I will be taking her to the local fair for some of what she loves most -- cotton candy and candy apples. If all goes well with kitten (hence the Meow Meow part of today's blog title), we will giggle like we did in the good old days, gossip about Brad, Angie, and the kids, who's wearing what in US and People magazine, Miss Sixty & all the fashionista stuff that we both love, and maybe somewhere along the way, she'll tell me why she (the 30-something cougar) is going to by a house with her little (barely 20-something) boy.

I guess now that she's made this huge life choice that she's the women that she's always wanted to be, she needs more in her life than ever before. Too bad it took two years & six months after the fact for all of this to transpire. I wonder what the real reasons are for this incredible turn of events. Why now? Why so soon after shoving our friendship and the love we had aside for three years? Oh, cotton candy, candy apples, and meow meow --- so sweet.

JB