TTL: I'd like some service here!!
Me: (geez, tone it down, lady) Hi, can I help you?
TTL: Well, I'm standing here, so I guess I need help.
Me: (uh, rude much?) What can I get you?
TTL: I want some tarts.
Me: OK, how many would you like?
TTL: I don't know.
Me: (here we go...) Mam, if you can decide on how many you want, I can get the right size box to put them in for you.
TTL: Like I said, I don't know, so just start pulling them out.
Me: (right, all 100 of them... NOT!) Mam, do you want a couple of each kind?
TTL: (pointing) Well, I want that strawberry one with the raspberries on that tray, the blueberry one on that tray, and the two blackberry on that tray there.
Me: (for the love of God...) Mam, each tray has a mixed variety of tarts on them, so I can actually pull out all those different kinds of tarts that you asked for off of this first tray.
TTL: (eyes big and wide) NOOOO!!!! I want the the ones I showed you!
Me: (holy crap, calm the h*ll down) Mam, they are all the same from one tray to the next.
TTL: How do I know that you're telling me the truth?
Me: (seriously???) I just made them, mam.
TTL: (in a commanding tone) Pull the trays out so I can pick my own tarts.
Me: (uh, excuse me??) Mam, I can't pull out all ten trays.
TTL: I want to see them up close.
Me: (let me bash your face into the glass, would that be close enough?) OK, I'll pull out only those three trays with the tarts that you pointed at.
As soon as I got the trays up on the counter, she started pointing and touching.
TTL: I want this one, this one, not that one, or that one. This one, not that one. This one here, and...
Me: (OMG, just touch them all, why don't you) Mam, please don't touch the tarts that you don't want to buy.
TTL: (rudely) I'm choosing what I want.
Me: (easy, biatch) Yes, mam, but you're also touching the tarts that you don't want me to pack for you.
Five minutes later, I had twenty tarts packed up for her and was ready to send her on her way when...
TTL: Are you sure you made these today? I'm taking these to a special dinner party and I do not want to be embarrassed.
Me: (OMG, enough already) Yes, I made them just before we opened for business today.
TTL: Good because I just didn't have time to make anything myself and I want to make a good impression.
Oh, you made an impression, alright. You left a fingerprint on every single one of those tarts that you're going to serve to your friends. Mmm... yummy.