Now that it's Summer, I've been making a lot more fruit desserts. I'm sure you've already read my post about strawberries. Anyway, early Sunday morning, I made around a hundred mini fruit tarts, and I was busy getting them into the display case when I was interrupted by a woman who thought that yelling was the best way to get my attention. As it turns out, she wanted to buy some tarts, but not before she touched them all first.TTL: I'd like some service here!!
Me: (geez, tone it down, lady) Hi, can I help you?
TTL: Well, I'm standing here, so I guess I need help.
Me: (uh, rude much?) What can I get you?
TTL: I want some tarts.
Me: OK, how many would you like?
TTL: I don't know.
Me: (here we go...) Mam, if you can decide on how many you want, I can get the right size box to put them in for you.
TTL: Like I said, I don't know, so just start pulling them out.
Me: (right, all 100 of them... NOT!) Mam, do you want a couple of each kind?
TTL: (pointing) Well, I want that strawberry one with the raspberries on that tray, the blueberry one on that tray, and the two blackberry on that tray there.
Me: (for the love of God...) Mam, each tray has a mixed variety of tarts on them, so I can actually pull out all those different kinds of tarts that you asked for off of this first tray.
TTL: (eyes big and wide) NOOOO!!!! I want the the ones I showed you!
Me: (holy crap, calm the h*ll down) Mam, they are all the same from one tray to the next.
TTL: How do I know that you're telling me the truth?
Me: (seriously???) I just made them, mam.
TTL: (in a commanding tone) Pull the trays out so I can pick my own tarts.
Me: (uh, excuse me??) Mam, I can't pull out all ten trays.
TTL: I want to see them up close.
Me: (let me bash your face into the glass, would that be close enough?) OK, I'll pull out only those three trays with the tarts that you pointed at.
As soon as I got the trays up on the counter, she started pointing and touching.
TTL: I want this one, this one, not that one, or that one. This one, not that one. This one here, and...
Me: (OMG, just touch them all, why don't you) Mam, please don't touch the tarts that you don't want to buy.
TTL: (rudely) I'm choosing what I want.
Me: (easy, biatch) Yes, mam, but you're also touching the tarts that you don't want me to pack for you.
TTL: Fine!
Five minutes later, I had twenty tarts packed up for her and was ready to send her on her way when...
TTL: Are you sure you made these today? I'm taking these to a special dinner party and I do not want to be embarrassed.
Me: (OMG, enough already) Yes, I made them just before we opened for business today.
TTL: Good because I just didn't have time to make anything myself and I want to make a good impression.
Oh, you made an impression, alright. You left a fingerprint on every single one of those tarts that you're going to serve to your friends. Mmm... yummy.
JB
who'd think working at the deli/bakery would be so much fun, heee hee heeee
ReplyDeleteOMG!
ReplyDeleteI'm oh so happy I'm not friends with that lady... or else she's be all hands on... LOL
Geez! You deserve a spot in heaven JB my love.
Hugs
Haha brings back memories of when I worked in a bakery in high school!
ReplyDeletehahahaha I TOTALLY forgot how funny you are!! :) So glad/happy that I stumbled upon you in my Mr. Sole Monkey blog. :D
ReplyDelete@Izze... as long as I don't ever have to make another tart or serve another nut job like her. I hope things are good with you and like I said to Shadow don't touch the tarts.
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jb
@Mom...working in this balery makes high school seem like a walk in the park. Take good care and thanks for stopping in. Oh..don't touch the tarts...lol
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jb
@Sophia...thanks for remembering that I'm funny but my customers make me angry. I totally wanted to shovel all those tarts down her throat the f**king nut job that she was. Yeah, don't touch the tarts like she was hard of hearing everytime she rammed another finger into my fresh tarts.....lolol. Thanks for stopping in.
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jb
@Shadow...hehehehe who would have thought. Hope your having a good summer and don't touch the tarts.
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jb
Ha, I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets the privilege of meeting these weirdos, lol, I could not do your job JB I have mental health problems leaving me with no inner monologue at times so I would be blurting out varying curse words at people like that, you must have the patience of an angel.
ReplyDeleteAndrew.....your hired, please come work with me and say anything you want to say. Our union can get us out of anything even your inner monologue...trust me.
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jb
Hello JB, I thought I had it bad, lol, I work as a yoga instructor so I get all the hoots and hollers of the day when I'm bending over or in one of the various unflattering positions by muscleheads passing by on the way to the gym down the hall.
ReplyDeleteI was introduced to your wonderful blog by my boyfriend Drew (Andrew G. Carson) and I love it so I'm going to be a follower oh and I promise not to touch the tarts, lol.
Reminds me of the customers I used to deal with when I worked retail stores.
ReplyDeleteEmma...welcome to my wacky world...lol. Well, yoga instructor in a muscle man gym poor you. I should thank your BF for introducing you to my blog so thanks Andrew. Hope you are both having a great summer and keep reading.
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jb
Broken....I hate retail trust me some days I want to slap everyone in the face or make then eat cake.
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