Moving On Up

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I haven't been around here all that much these last few weeks. It's not because I haven't wanted to be. I have tired, believe me. I've just been too exhausted to write thanks to the madness that is currently my life. You see, yours truly is going to be assistant bakery manager. Yes, I'm moving on up, and it's been absolute h*ll trying to get there. I wanted to tell you guys all about it when I first found out, but I have never worked this hard or this many hours in my life, and it's left me with very little time & energy for blogging. I was actually supposed to have two days off for each five days of training, but I've been pulling some deli shifts as well because they are super busy & still haven't hired someone to take my place.

Anyway, I have to say that I am excited about my new position, but I'm going to miss the deli. At least I knew what I was doing there. You're probably thinking that if I can cook, I can bake, but you're wrong. My mother & sister did all the baking stuff for the restaurant because I just didn't have a knack for it at all. You see, baking is fairly exact, whereas you can cheat on ingredients when it comes to cooking. Lucky for me (more like lucky for my customers), someone else is doing the actual baking. I'll just be holding down the fort, as well as building & decorating cakes. The woman who's training me really knows her stuff, but I'll tell you more about her & what I'm learning another time. Instead, I'm going to share the lovely conversation that I had with my mother when I told her about my promotion.

Me: Hey, Ma!

Mother: Hello, who's a speaking?

Me: Ma, it's me.

Mother: Me who?

Me: It's JB, Ma. What's wrong, you don't recognize my voice today?

Mother: Please, no start already. I just get the phone and you start. What you want?

Me: (I'm fine, Ma, thanks for asking, and you? Geez!) I got a promotion at work. I start training next week. I’m so happy!

Mother: You get more money, or you just stand around talking to customers and no working like I know you do?

Me: Ma, you know I work really hard. And, yes, I get more money.

Mother: Ya, right! I see you in action, all funny, making people laugh. You a good girl, but sometime you talk too much at work. I no forget you know.

Me: (and you'll never let me forget either) Ma, listen, you want to know what I'll be doing?

Mother: OK, tell me.

Me: I'm the new assistant bakery manager!

All of a sudden, I hear bang, clang, shabang on the other end of the line, and then crazy hysterical laughing. My mother had dropped the phone & was killing herself laughing at me. Not that I don't love it when she laughs, but I just told her I got promoted, for Pete sake.

Me: Ma, hello? Are you OK?

Mother: Oh my God, JB! You crazy! Remember when we made biscotti and cream puffs at the restaurant? What you do, remember??

Me: Uhh....

Mother: I give you the recipe and you tell me no worry, you can do it.

Me: Yeah... where are you going with this?

Mother: You no remember?

Me: (racking my brain) Not really....

Mother: Come on, you know.

Me: (still thinking...)

Mother: What you use that day... two times... the same mistake?

Me: Ohhhhh, now I remember... the baking powder.

Mother: Yes, baking powder, but what you use?

Me: I used baking soda.

Mother: Why?

Me: (make me feel like an idiot, why don't ya) Because I thought it was the same thing.

Again I hear crazy laughing on her end of the line. She was really enjoying herself at my expense.

Mother: My baby, she going to bake!

Me: No, someone else...

Mother: You know, JB, I love you and I think you can be great manager, but baking not for you.

Me: Someone else is doing the baking, Ma. I just have to follow the book that shows you how to do the decorating. There are pictures and instructions for each cake.

Mother: (nothing, she just starts laughing her a** off again)

Me: Ma, will you stop laughing at me already?

Mother: You read a book and look at pictures? You people crazy!

Me: Ma, do you have any idea how many kinds of cakes there are?

Mother: (totally ignoring what I just said) You tell your sister yet?

Me: No, not yet.

Mother: Why? You scared because she used to work in bakery? She going to cry for you when she find out you bake with a picture book.

Me: Ma, I told you I'm not baking anything.

Mother: I'm so proud of you.

Me: Really? I never would have guessed from all of your hysterical laughing.

Mother: You have to tell your sister. Maybe you bake us cake sometime, eh?

Me: (my mother, the comedian) Ma, stop it!

Mother: Why, you can bake for us, no?

Me: I'm hanging up now, Ma. Bye...

Mother: (nothing, just more laughing)


JB