The New Girl

Last week a new guy and girl were hired to work in the bakery. This was good news because there's always a ton of stuff to do, and I'd been asking for more employees since I started my new position. The girl came in for training first, but I wasn't working because it was my day off. The next day, however, Power Ranger and Superstar (nicknames I gave two of the students who work with me) couldn't wait to tell me all about her the second I set foot inside the bakery.

PwrRngr: OMG, thank God you're back!!

Me: Why? You guys miss me?

PwrRngr: You won't believe what the new girl did yesterday?

Me: Please, do tell.

Superstar: No, really, you're not going to believe it.

Me: Just hurry up and tell me because I have a lot of cakes to make.

Superstar: Well, I was making flans & parfaits for you because Lazy McLazy (my manager's nickname because she literally does f**k all at work) wouldn't help us, and in walks the new girl.

Me: And?

Superstar: She saw the strawberries I was using to decorate the flans and she totally freaked out.

Me: What? Why?

Superstar: She said, "OMG, are those strawberries?? Can I have one??? I want to eat it on my break!!" I told her no, we're not allowed to eat the food, but she found herself a really big one and took it anyway.

Me: OK.

Superstar: Then, she put it on her head.

Me: Excuse me?

Superstar: She put it on her head.

Me: (WTF?) Are you two messing with me?

PwrRngr: No, she kept it on her head the whole time she was doing her work.

Me: (again, WTF?) How did she even get it to stay on her head?

PwrRngr: I don't know, but she did. I swear to God, JB! She stood in the corner singing to herself and packing cookies for over an hour with the strawberry on her head.

Me: (who does she think she is, Strawberry freakin' Shortcake?) Didn't anyone tell her to take it off her head?

Superstar: No, we wanted her to get in trouble. She's nuts.

Me: I see. So, is that all?

PwrRngr: No, after she finished with the cookies, she looked at both of us, did a pirouette, and then danced her way to the lunch room to eat her strawberry.

Me: (clearing my throat) A pirouette?

PwrRngr: Uh huh.

Superstar: I'm telling you, JB, she's nuts.

Me: (yup, so far, so nutty) Is she working today?

Superstar: No, thank God.

PwrRngr: Yeah, she scares me.

Me: OK, enough about the new girl, let's get to work.

The new guy better f**king be normal.

JB

OMG, I'm A Mess - Part Three

Some of you might remember reading OMG, I'm A Mess and OMG, I'm A Mess - Part Two. The question is, am I still a mess? Well, let's review.

I got rid of the poison in my life (aka my Ex). Good.

The restaurant closing was the right thing for everyone involved. Good.

I got a new job. Good.

I got promoted. Good.

Well, except for one thing... I HATE MAKING CAKES!!!!!!! I F**KING HATE IT!!!!!!!! HATE IT!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!

~sigh~

I thought I was working towards not being a mess, but I messed up. I mean, how the f**k did I get into cakes? I thought smelling like the deli was bad, but smelling like the bakery is worse. Really, you have no idea.

Oh, and did I mention that my manager hates me? Well, she does. I know she has problems of her own, but for f**k sakes, stop taking it out on me, already!!!!!!!!

Yup, just when I thought I was on the way to better things, I realize, OMG, I'm still a mess!

JB